Depths of Despair ✶ Theodore Nott

nine. confusion is a great bother

Across Kieran's features was an expression of utter dismay; eyebrows furrowed while desperately attempting to cover his eyes from heavy rain falling from the sky.

     All day had the weather been exceptionally imperfect, yet most students still found themselves at the Quidditch bleachers; watching what appeared more similar to a struggle between the players and the wind, rather than an actual quidditch match.

     Being much more of a Quidditch enthusiast than she'd ever admit to anyone other than Kieran, Valerie had rather forcefully dragged her best friend from the comfort of their common room down to watch the game. However, even she had come to regret it — squeezing her eyes shut when the wind slapped a collection of rain drops right into her face.

"Merlin!" she exclaimed in surprise shortly after when a loud wave of thunder quickly sounded across the field; her body involuntary flinching backwards while her heart took a leap within her chest.

      "What's the matter? Scared of a little rain?" Kieran's voice came as no surprise, however his use of words made her contemplate whether or not to slap him across the face. Opposing his previous display of misery, a smile now spread across his lips — Valerie rolling her eyes, recalling herself telling him the exact same thing only half an hour earlier when he firstly had refused to follow her out of the castle.

      He seemingly found amusement in taunting her: chuckling to himself for a moment or two until pain flowed through his right arm, Valerie pinching him with all her might. "Shut up."

      Kieran slapped her hand away with ease, rolling his eyes before needing to rather urgently duck away from a bludger flying past his head in a haste. "What the—", he initiated a series of curse words, however silenced himself rather quickly as another strike of lightning lit up the sky. "Isn't this getting sort of dangerous?" He instead asked, needing to lean closer to Valerie and speak directly in her ear to even be heard by his friend.

      "I'm sure it'll be fine." She sounded not entirely certain of her own statement.

      Drenched from head to toe, quickly did they both loose warmth — Valerie trembling while Kieran ever so often moved around on the spot to not loose all circulation throughout his body.

      They both flinched when a burst of lightning traveled downwards from the sky, seeking somewhere to ground itself, only to end up setting fire to a Gryffindor player's broom. Her screams were audible all the way through the wind as she sailed toward the ground — Valerie straightening herself out, gripping her wand in preparation in case the need to ease her fall would arise. Only seconds later, however, a teacher seemed to have it handled.

      Already seemed her previous words seem to backfire, and Valerie could sense Kieran's smug expression already. The weather conditions certainly made for a dangerous environment, and she was no longer even the slightest certain it would 'be fine'.

      With her best friend's gaze steadily staring her down, although he did not speak a word, Valerie felt herself slowly give in. Some hesitation later, and she rolled her eyes in frustration. "Fine."

      Hiding his relief, Kieran met her gaze while awaiting further elaboration. "What?" His words were merely of teasing intentions, but Valerie chose to ignore it — pushing away the urge to curse him.

      "Fine, we can go back to the castle." With her revelation, Kieran immediately pushed past some other students with eyes set on the stairs — picking up pace rather quickly.

     "Oh, come on", Valerie muttered to herself when immediately falling behind: needing to
direct her gaze into the ground below as the wind struck rather hard — forgetting entirely to watch where she was going. Lasting only a few seconds, her body jolted backwards, air expelled from her lungs, when reaching an unexpected obstacle: bumping into something, or someone, instantly loosing balance due to the impact. "Oh—", she barely had time to utter even a sound before collapsing on the ground: catching herself with her wrists and flinching at the slight pain, which quickly appeared to pass.

      "Valerie, come on—", it was Kieran's voice, however simply by looking up she could determine he was not the person she had walked right into, as he appeared behind the two figures stood before her — wearing a rather humerus expression as he approached her and reached out a hand to help her up. "What is it with you and bumping into people?" He said with a scoff as soon as she was on her feet, quirking an eyebrow upwards. She could do no else than flashing him a bitter grimace.

      Unable to deny he actually did have a point, and Valerie felt her stomach pinch with embarrassment when looking up and yet again spotting Remus Lupin looking at her with a pinch of amusement on display within his eyes, stood alongside a man whom she'd never met before, however could easily recognize. "I am so sorry, professor Lupin and.. uh, Mr. Potter."

      "Not to worry, miss Leclere", her professor quickly responded: yet Valerie frowned at the way he enunciated her name, simultaneously as he discreetly nudged his friend in the side.

"Oh—", James Potter exclaimed, and even though he had appeared rather distressed ever since bumping into her, he now entered what somewhat reminded her of panic: hazel eyes widening in shock. Once again he received an elbow in the ribs from professor Lupin, and instantly did he stumble out a series of words in a manner that did not fully make sense. "R—right. It's okay, miss Leclere, nothing to— Uh, nothing to worry about."

Unable to restrain herself, her mind automatically reached for his scattered thoughts. Much to Valerie's own surprise, the images being revealed to her made even less sense than the man's obvious nervousness: the thirteen-year-old stumbling backwards, hazel tintin gaze trailing onto James Potter while attempting to puzzle together what she had just seen in his mind.

His eyes were as wide as hers, as if coming to a sudden realization, and when she reached for his thoughts again — this time on purpose — she could gather nothing else than 'think about something else, think about something else, think about something else' repeated so many times she exited his mind at an instant, her confusion only increasing even more.

"Right", Remus Lupin suddenly exclaimed, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I think we should return to our seats. Harry is playing, after all."

James Potter appeared to remain frozen, until — without either Valerie or Kieran noticing — receiving a kick to his right ankle, the pain snapping him from his involuntary trance. "Right, wouldn't want to miss the entire game."

Professor Lupin directed a kind smile toward both Valerie and Kieran, "Goodbye, miss Leclere, mister Lacroix." And with that both adults departed, hurrying toward the bleachers, sparing the two teenagers not another glance as they appeared to be in deep discussion.

Glancing toward his friend, Kieran immediately grew concerned. Her expression, he could easily recognize — eyes wide, frightening neutrality across most of her features. "Val?" He exclaimed softly, tilting his head to meet her empty gaze. "What did you see?"

Knowing her best friend had already figured out the reason behind her passiveness being something she found within James Potter's mind, she blinked for the first time in what felt like minutes — interlocking her hands with one another to stop them from trembling.

Never again would she not watch where she was going, for she certainly wished not to accidentally bump into anyone ever again.

"Val?" Kieran repeated, taking a step closer, preparing to take her to Dumbledore were she to end up going into shock. "Talk to me."

Inhaling a deep breath, she finally showed reaction toward her best friend's presence — parting her lips to speak, however needing to take a moment to figure out what to say. The images flashed through her mind, and when finally sure of what James Potter's thoughts had contained, she dared to speak aloud.

"I— I saw myself. And I saw my mother."