Depths of Despair ✶ Theodore Nott

seventeen. confrontation of the unknown

Primitive is the instinct to fear what you cannot control, and although it is not something you easily ignore, it surely is something some might preferably try and run from.

     Much rather do we flee than confront whatever we wish not to face, yet there always comes a time when you no longer have anywhere to hide.

     Valerie Leclere was never a natural in dealing with her inner thoughts. It seemed, although she had a natural ability to see, read and understand others, she was utterly abysmal at sorting out her own mind — therefore easily submerging into denial or simple ignorance with intentions to turn her back in whatever she thought might cause her distress.

     We are our own greatest enemies, however breaking a pattern is difficult: especially when you lean into it with no thought, no real apprehension of the destructiveness of your own mind as you are already far below the surface of reason.

     "Miss Leclere," uttered a voice from behind her back: Valerie flinching in surprise before turning around rather startled.

     Upon being released from the Hospital wing only minutes prior, she definitely had no will to hold a conversation with professor McGonagall as it most likely would concern missed school work or her absence from class, however the woman stood before her and Valerie somewhat straightened out her posture — desiring to look somewhat less miserable than she felt within.

     "Uh— Hello, professor," she replied: regathering her composure, feigning interest in whatever the teacher were to say.

     "I hope you have recovered well," McGonagall continued, obviously informed of the incidents sensing her to the infirmary. Valerie quickly nodded, dismissing the question as she'd been asked the very same thing — in different variants — a thousand times already: the words sounding plain and age-worn by now. "Professor Dumbledore had requested your presence in his office as soon as possible."

     "Oh, is it important?" Valerie sighed, internally groaning as she'd much rather go back to the Slytherin common room and properly catch up with Kieran.

     "He appeared rather adamant that you went," the professor answered, Valerie able to distinguish the sharp undertone defining her voice. It was clear there was no room for objections.

     "Okay," she said, about to turn around and entirely change direction when reminded of a rather crucial factor to the upcoming visit to the Headmaster. "Oh, professor? You don't happen to know the password, do you?"

     Professor McGonagall kindly smiled, recalling what she had previously been told to pass on to her, "It is the same as last time you were there."

     "Great, thank you!"

     The walk appeared to last for eternity — Valerie groaning in exhaustion at the many stairs leading her from the dungeons toward Dumbledore's castle. Although she was fully recovered, she had not been up and properly moving for days. Sadly it appeared to have taken effect to her stamina, heart pounding, lungs burning by the time she reached the very last step.

     It did not end there either, but a long corridor awaited her: the teenager cursing to herself, muttering profanities until the very moment she haltered before the statue guarding the Headmaster's office.

     As it seemed not to react upon her presence, she cleared her throat. "Acid Pops." It felt — as always — rather odd to speak the odd words aloud into nothingness, yet it took only second before the statue began spinning: revealing to her a familiar staircase she stepped into and then allowed carry her up to a wooden door.