Qingxin Hearts (Genshin Impact Oneshots)

↬Stupid Allos↫Albedo x Reader

Modern AU Valentine's Day from the perspective of two aromantic and asexual best friends.

"Allos" is referring to Allosexual(s) which means (definition from Google) "anyone who feels sexual attraction for other people." Please don't take "stupid allos" as an insult or whatever, it's a thing my irl best friend says and although my shit memory can't remember what he's said it to, it's funny af when he just says "stupid allos" after hearing about something they did. He means no harm when saying it and I don't mean to offend anyone when I use it in the title or in the oneshot.

A very short and early special for V-Day.

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"True happiness does not lie in romance, it lies in Portillo's," Albedo spoke as he shoved another cheese dipped fry into his mouth. You nodded in agreement to his statement and reached over to steal a fry from his lunch which earned a slight glare from the blonde. With a smirk, you dipped the stolen fry into the cheese cup and ate it, not caring that Albedo was slightly upset that you stole one of his fries whilst you still had your own to finish.

"Portillo's fries and cake is the only thing you need in life to be happier. I mean, look at those allos showing PDA everywhere you go. It's gross," you shivered at the thought of witnessing one of your friends showing romantic affection earlier. Albedo seemed to have recalled the exact same memory and made a face of displeasure.

Being that the two of you were aromantic and asexual, romance was digusting. A relationship sounded like selling your soul and freedom away. Romance was restrictive and put limits on your freedom, which you could never dream of giving away. Why date someone when you could just be playing videogames all day long and simp for fictional characters without a care in the world? Or, in the perspective of Albedo, why date when you can just sit in a lab and do experiments?

"Student council made a form for people to send their Valentine's Day stories in. They're going to be picking a few to feature in the school newspaper later this month," the blonde genius commented. Albedo finished his last fry before reaching into his Portillo's bag to grab his one true love: Portillo's chocolate cake. Upon hearing this you laughed and slapped your knee as a way of showing how hilarious you thought that was.

"I have a great 'story' they could put in the newspaper. Wanna hear it?" Albedo nodded. "Valentine's Day can go choke on a candy heart," you proudly said. Choking turned into laughter as your best friend high fived you for that very aro/ace comment you made. The student council members would never choose to put that into the school newspaper, but you would've loved to see the looks on their faces when they read it. "Anyways, got any more stories from AVEN?"

"Not yet. I haven't checked for a few days so I'll let you know later if there's anything funny that I found. But I do have a story regarding our dear friend Timaeus." Interested by this, you got more comfortable in your seat, eager to hear what that boy had gotten himself into. "Well, he and his girlfriend got caught...doing romantic couple stuff by a teacher." A knowing, smug look crossed your face and you glanced over at Albedo who had the same look on his face.

"Stupid Allos," you said in unision before bursting into laughter.

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Upcoming oneshots will be:

-Kazuha x Reader

-????? x Reader

-Requested Keqing x Reader

Expect those to be coming out soon whenever I get around to finishing them.