𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦 (𝟭-𝟲). ❥ cix.

6.05 ;; yonghee's secret

Yonghee didn't want to dye his hair initially.

If he were to think back to when he was younger, he definitely wouldn't have. Yonghee liked to blend in. He wanted to be so unimportant and miniscule in people's lives that they'd naturally forget that he was meant to be there and he'd disappear from memory.

Yonghee was lucky he had gotten better. For the longest time, he'd wanted to end his own life, not seeing what good he was inserted in that of others.

That was it exactly. Yonghee didn't feel like the main character of his own story—he felt like a side character in everyone else's, no motivation or passion behind anything he did when he wasn't with people. Blending into the background was just meant for him. Nobody would notice if the side character went missing.

"Yonghee?"

Yonghee perked up to look at Seunghun, who looked like he'd been calling his name for a while now. Oops. "Yes?"

"I was going to ask you what you wanted to eat, but you seem distracted." Seunghun sauntered over to Yonghee, sitting down on Jinyoung's bed. The others were in the living room, socializing with each other, but Yonghee had decided to stick behind. "What's on your mind?"

Seunghun was so... approchable. It was ironic, really, the fact that he was the one who had gone through the most out of all of CIX, but he was the most open to conversation. Yonghee knew that was what brought Byounggon and Jinyoung towards him. Even Hyunsuk, socially awkward in every way, opened up to him more and more.

Yonghee had yet to cross that threshold, but Seunghun hadn't pressed. Even now, he sat with his arms crossed, thinking about if he wanted to tell Seunghun or not.

"Life," he answered. "How I've changed over the years."

Seunghun nodded, prompting him to keep going. Yonghee did. "I never thought my life had much of a purpose or a direction. You know, it was like I was always in the background. If someone didn't have business with me, I didn't matter."

Yonghee sighed. "I wanted to kill myself."

Seunghun didn't say anything. He just continued to wait for Yonghee to finish. He just listened. Yonghee kept going.

"It feels different now, though." He smiled slightly. "Now I feel like I have people who would actually miss me if I was gone. You, me, all of us are what I consider to be main characters. We have something going for us."

Seunghun nodded. "We have each other."

A few beats passed before Seunghun wrapped his arm around Yonghee. "Thank you for telling me," Seunghun whispered. "Do you want to come out to the living room with the rest of us?"

Thsi time, it wasn't even worth debating. "Sure," Yonghee answered.