The feeling of the bed dipping startled me from my sleep, my eyes opened up to Niki trying to sneak out of bed. She was surprised when she turned to check if I was still sleeping and found me starring at her in my team jersey. Immediately after practice I rushed to see her. Even though it was a bit tighter, it looked good on her. So good I wanted to take it off of her.
" Why are you smiling like that?"
" Like what?"
" Like I'm a glass of water at the end of a long walk through the desert_ I don't know."
" Well you are exactly that, the sun after a very cold winter."
She smiled lovingly, I have noticed she smiles a lot around me.
" You know I cannot believe I'm your first girlfriend."
" Technically you're my second girlfriend. I had a girlfriend in my first year of high school, when I was still trying to figure out what was wrong with me."
I made air quotations to the last five words. This was the first time sharing this about me with anyone.
" Okay, you guys must've been together for a long time for me to just be your second girlfriend at your age."
" Actually we were only together for a week till my dad found out and put an end to it."
" How?"
" He beat the living lights out of me and took me to church to get the demon out of me. Then told the girl's parents who banned her from seeing me. Not that I would see her after that beating."
The girl blamed me for her being outed.
" I meant how did he find out but he really beat you?"
" He beat me so hard I couldn't walk for a week. He told the school I had mumps and they believed him. Even though I returned to school with a limp seven days later."
" Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry you had to go through that-"
" It's okay. Therapy has helped me deal with it."
I pulled her into my chest to comfort her after seeing how stressed she was over this. It warmed my heart to see her care for me so much. People close to me never cared about the things my dad did.
" Your mom let him do that to you?"
" Let him is such a nice word, she feigned ignorance when it came to his treatment of me. My mom would help him beat me up on some occasions and sometimes she would lock herself up in their bedroom to block out my screams."
" I see why that could stop you from dating but what will happen when he finds out about me?"
" I'm a grown ass woman now and can stand up for myself. I'm not the little girl who was afraid of her father, you have nothing to worry about."
We actually had a lot to worry about but I did not want to disturb our harmonious relationship right now with the truth.
" Okay but if you need anything or anyone to stand up for you, just know I'm here. You don't have to stand up to your father alone anymore, I'm here. I'll always be here even if we break up tomorrow-"
" We're never breaking up."
My tone was a bit dismissive and harsh but I was determined not to let anyone determine who I could and could not love. I was older, wiser and stronger now and made my own money. I needed no one but her.
" You can never tell the fut-"
" We're never breaking up. I don't care what the future holds but I've found you and I have no plan of letting go of you."
" Okay, sure_ we're never breaking up."
I pulled her into a hug when I realized I must have scared her, as I raised my voice unintentionally.
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