BBW ( Just republishing to hopefully finish it, there might be slight changes)

SIMZ/NIKI

" Is everything okay?

Nicki asked as I walked back into the nursery. I stood next to Leo's crib as she placed him inside. Nothing like a good serving of breakfast to put him to sleep.

" It will be."

As I watched her put away some of Leo's items, I thought of asking her to marry me again. Maybe ask her to dinner and go all out for a second proposal . Hopefully she will forgive me for my past mistakes and say yes, again but I had a hard time letting the words out of  my mouth. If I can't ask her out , how am I going to ask her to marry me, again?.

The tension from my conversation with Kerri lingered in the air as I stood next to Leo's crib, my heart heavy with uncertainty. I watched as Nicki lovingly arranged baby clothes in the drawer, her movements gentle and precise. Just a week into this new chapter of our lives, and it felt like I was getting pulled in all directions.

"Are you sure everything's okay?"

Nicki's voice sliced through my thoughts, her eyes narrowing slightly as she paused to look at me.

"Yeah, just... had a conversation with Kerri,"

I replied, trying to keep my tone light. Nicki's expression shifted to concern.

"About us?"

I nodded, exhaling sharply.

"She feels like I've been neglecting her, and I can't blame her for that but with everything going on, I just... I don't know how to balance everything."

Nicki sighed, her eyes softening.

"It can't be easy for you. I know you care about her, but it sounds like you have to make a choice. You need to think about what you truly want."

I wanted to scream, to express how torn I was. It felt impossible to reconcile the conflicting wills of the heart. There was love for Kerri, but it paled in comparison to the overwhelming bond I felt with Leo—my son.

"I love you, Nicki,"

I said suddenly, Nicki shook her head as if she was trying to shake my words off.

" No. I think you're hurting-"

" I'm not speaking out of hurt. I never loved Kerri that much."

I interjected

" Yet you left me highly pregnant for her, after you begged me to keep the baby mind you. Make that make sense Simi."

Her words struck a chord, and I felt a pang of guilt twist in my chest. The truth hung between us like a thick fog. The memories of late-night arguments, the tears shed, the distance I'd created—it all felt so fresh, almost too raw to touch.

"I know,"

I admitted, my voice now barely a whisper.

"I was a fool, Nicki and I regret it every day."

Nicki turned away, folding the tiny onesies with a care that reflected how much love she poured into this new life. Every little garment held a piece of our son's future, and I couldn't help but realize that if I wanted in on that future, I needed to prove myself.

"I'm glad you're able to see the errors of your ways but unfortunately I've learnt that when the going gets tough, you won't hesitate to leave me high, dry and destitute. I did everything for you out of love but you failed to reciprocate that love when it mattered most."

Her words cut deeper than I anticipated, leaving me momentarily speechless. I had never truly grasped the weight of my actions until this moment, standing in the nursery, surrounded by remnants of a life I desperately wanted to be a part of. The once-overwhelming thrill of motherhood was now entangled with the throes of guilt and fear.

"Niki,"

I started, my voice trembling slightly,

"I know I've hurt you. I can't change the past, but I want to make it right. I want to be the woman you know I can be. For you, for Leo."

She paused in her folding, glancing over her shoulder at me, her expression a mix of tenderness and skepticism.

" It's a little too late."

She walked out of the nursery, her previous task forgotten. I could hear the tears in her voice, I made sure our son was safe and comfortable before I followed her into the bedroom, desperate to bridge the chasm that had widened between us.