The Starling's Secret

22 - The Starling's Secret

Chisa's POV

My heart thuds violently against my chest. I'm vaguely aware of the Uil moving away from me, leaving me alone with Lindel.

I didn't even realise he'd stopped singing.

Why does this always happen? Why do I let my guard down so easily? He wasn't supposed to hear me say that - I didn't even know he was there!

I slowly rise to my feet, keeping my eyes fixed on the ground, making no effort to turn around. I can't face him. I can't face him because I don't know how to get out of this. I don't know what to say.

But I can't tell the truth. I can't endanger his life.

"Chisa?" Lindel prompts. He wants me to say something.

But I can't.

I just shake my head, slowly at first, but as denial creeps in, the gesture becomes more violent. This was the one thing I was supposed to keep secret! Because it's the one thing I know they can't help me with. I cross my arms over my chest, gripping my arms tightly. My nails dig deep as I continue to shake my head. I'm panicking.

What do I do?
How do I avoid this?
How can I deny it?

Fate cannot be changed!

"Chisa, little one, don't do that. You'll only hurt yourself." He was suddenly in front of me, grabbing my arms, forcing me to ease up on my death grip.

My glassy eyes finally connected with his gentle, concerned ones. It was enough to send me over the edge. I howled, covering my face with my hands. The stress of keeping the secret, of knowing the future, of being alone... it was all too much. I can't take it anymore. Lindel pulled me into his chest immediately, which only made me cry harder. He stroked my long, violet hair, and tucked my head into his shoulder. He shushed me gently, and slowly, ever so slowly, I calmed down.

"There now, it's alright. You're safe, little one." Despite his reassuring words, I shook my head. I'm not safe, I never was.

Lindel pushed my small frame away from himself slightly. Even through my blurred vision I saw the confusion swirl in his icy orbs. I sniffed loudly, looking away, unable to keep up the eye contact.

"I see you are hurting right now Chisa, but please be honest with me, I want to help you." Lindel reasons with me.

But there's no way he can understand. Nothing good comes from knowing the future. Once I see it - that's it. It's only a matter of time before it becomes reality.

Mum...

"No! Y-You don't get it! This s-secret... you can't kn-know!" I'm so agitated, I can't even form coherent sentences.

"Why, Chisa! What secret is worth pushing everyone away? What Flash has closed you off to the world?" Lindel presses, and I can sense the concern in his voice.

"Telling the truth k-killed my M-Mum!" I yelled in a fit of rage.

He kept pushing and pushing until I lashed out. I stood there, my chest heaving as my hard eyes remained locked with his shocked ones. It was then when I realised what I said. My orbs widened and tears immediately filled them. I covered my mouth with my hands, a vain attempt to keep myself from revealing anything else. I choked back a sob as the horrible image of Mum falling replayed in my mind.

"What... what happened, Chisa?" He phrases delicately.

I tore my gaze away from his piercing eyes and focused on the ground instead. I breathed deeply, trying desperately to calm myself. There's no going back now. I have to tell him.