Bizarre Connection

Epilogue

My tears flowed as I looked at the small unpainted bungalow house in front of me. It took me a lot of courage and time before finally going back.

Hindi ko kaya dati dahil panay masasamang alaala at sakit ang alam kong madadala ko, but now, standing here...all I could remember were those happy days I had with my mom, lola, and Shin.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong maiyak habang pinagmamasdan ang bahay naming halos hindi na makita dahil sa kapal ng mga damo at halamang nakapaligid.

"This would take us days to clean," Shin checked while checking the vicinity.

"Kaya mo na 'yan, isipin mo nalang na workout, para lumaki katawan mo." Erika said and laughed.

Lumingon naman sila sa akin ang nginitian ako.

"Sisirain na namin ang pinto, g ba Nisha?"

Tumango ako at lumapit na sa kanila.

We spent the whole day cleaning at no'ng gabi na ay pumasok ako sa dating kwarto ko, I still hasn't cleaned it dahil inuna namin ang labas kung kaya't marami pang alikabok. But I still went inside...because there's something pulling me inside.

My eyes roamed around and I immediately saw old picture frames and decorations on the wall.

My tears flowed again when I remembered mom, because she's the one who put and arranged those things inside my room and ever since she died, I've never attempted to reshuffle them...and they served as my comfort before we ran away.

Nilapitan ko ang isa at tinitigan.

It was a picture of me and my mom, nakayakap siya sa likod ko habang ako naman ay may hawak na lollipop at naka peace sign. I was five years old back then, and it was during my birthday.

Hinawakan ko 'yon at pinalis ang mga luha ko.

I think it's time.

We went to the cemetery where mom's remains were buried kinaumagahan ng tanghali. It was my first time to visit after almost a decade.

Shin, Erika, and I prayed first before they left me...giving me privacy.

Right after they left, my tears started flowing while smiling.

"I'm back, mom. Sorry for being away for too long."

Marami akong gustong ikwento pero pinili kong sabihin nalang ang mga magagandang pangyayari at alaala na naipon sa mga nagdaang taon. Dahil kung may natutunan man ako sa mga taong nagdaan, 'yon ay ang piliing manatili ang mga masasayang alaala kaysa sa mga masasama.

I shouldn't live in the darkness of the past, I should move forward to the bright future. That's what he taught me.

Ngumiti ako ng maalala siya, it would've been better if he's here.

Bumaling ako sa lapida at nagpasyang magsimula na.

"Graduate na po ako, Ma. Isa na rin po ako international flight attendant sa isang kilalang airline company. Natupad ko na po ang pangarap ko."

I smiled thinking of the young me professing my dream in front of her, habang siya ay nakangiti at ipinapahayag ang pagsuporta sa akin at sa pangarap ko.

"Thank you for always believing in me, mom. Your words gave me courage and strength when I was consumed by the darkness. They helped me achieve my dreams and rebuild myself. I am not who I am today if it's not because of you."

I smiled and looked up, hoping that she would see me.

"I am okay now, mom. I don't feel alone anymore. I have friends, hindi man gano'n karami ay alam kong totoo sila sa akin. Shin's okay already, too. Mag-aasawa na rin nga yata," I chuckled.