starting over

chapter 13

I wake up a half hour earlier to allow myself time to get ready before I have to help jude, i get a quick wash and make breakfast, sausages and beans at half eight i wake up jude, who just happens to be a very heavy sleeper when it's the most difficult time.
"jude, wake up" I say softly while shaking his shoulder.
"jude, you have to get up now, it's half eight" he gets mad if he lies on past eight it's now half eight and he is still sleeping.
"jude, wake the fuck up" I say a bit louder than my normal voice.
"what?" he asks while trying to take off his bandage.
"leave it on jude, remember the incident? It's half eight now"
"right, I'm getting up" he says sitting up in his bed i help him to the bathroom and put on a clean black top before bracing my self and taking off his boxers while trying to ignore his hard cock i quickly put a pair of clean boxers and some jogging trousers on him.
"you could have made that a bit more interesting" he says with a smirk.
"your blind but you'll still find a way to do that yourself, I'm sure"
"I guess your right, you know me so well"
"that I do, now come on your breakfast will be cold"
I lead him out and sit him in my normal seat to see if he notices.
"where am I sitting?"
"what?"
"I'm not sitting in my normal seat, i chose you because i thought you wouldn't pull any shit like this"
"too bad that I know you better than you know me then" I say in a whiny voice while helping him move and cutting up his food getting ready to feed him, yeah I have to spoon feed him.
"what is it?"
"sausages, do you want sauce?"
"yeah, brown sauce"
"fine" I say while squirting some out onto the plate and dipping the sausage in.
"here"
"thanks" he says while opening his mouth for the sausage, i grab his chin and move it so he is facing me and not the toaster.
"what are we gonna do all day?" He asks me.
"do you wanna listen to music or i could read one of your books to you" I casually say, he tried to hide them but i saw them while looking at pictures of him and his brother.
"bitch" he mutters.
"take that as a no to me entertaining you at all"
"fine, I'm sorry"
When hes finally done he sits on the sofa while I go get his phone, where he keeps all his music and some earphones.
"whats your password?"
"I'm not telling you, give it here"
"I'll be on it anyway"
"I don't care, give it here"
"fine" I hand him the phone and he tries five times before disabling it for three minutes.
"just tell me the bloody password"
"okay, it's woodbrook"
"woodbrook?"
"yeah, it's a park i went to when i was younger, it was my favourite place to camp so woodbrook"
"ok, I'll put it on shuffle, shit the earphones won't stay in your ears because of the bandage"
"fuck try to move it a bit"
"it's not gonna move, I'll put it on without earphones and just pray i dont go deaf"
"whatever"
When i unlock his phone I'm surprised to see so many artists that I absolutely adore, fallout boy, the weekend, green day and more.
"I had no idea you were into this type of music" I says scrolling though his songs as they brought back so many memories, mostly bad.
"yeah, go ahead and call me an emo or whatever but it really is good music"
"I'm not gonna call you an emo incase you've forgotten i was once classified as an 'emo' and I'm actually into this music"
"really?" you can't see it on his face because you can barely make out his mouth but in his voice you can tell he is surprised.
"so, you were like full on emo?"
"no, I wasn't an 'emo' i was depressed and stop using labels like that, it drives me mad"
"yeah, ok" he says with a chuckle sounding more relaxed, i put on a song and lie down on the sofa beside jude to enjoy it, but it brings back too many memories of that dark time in my life.
"I'll be right back" I tell jude trying to sound normal and failing miserably.
"whats wrong?"
"nothing, I'm fine, I just need the bathroom"
"are you sure, is it the music?"
"yeah, I'm sure I'll just be a few minutes"
"ok" he says sounding completely unconvinced, the second I turn my tears are flowing freely down my cheeks and i practically run down the hall and into the bathroom i slide down the wall and silently cry remembering my childhood in ireland.
"fuck" I hear jude mutter from just up the hallway, shit he's trying to get to me i quickly compose myself and fix my make up before leaving and rushing to jude who is holding his shin after whacking it on the table hard.
"are you ok? What are you doing i said I would be right out"
"I'm fine, I'm trying to find my way to the bathroom to comfort you"
"you don't have to, I'm fine"
"I heard you and i knew you were upset I'm blind not deaf i heard it in your voice"
"I'm fine now well, do you need anything?"
"I need to piss"
"really?"
"yeah" he says sounding embarrassed.
"okay, let's go"

Judes POV

Annie leads me down the hallway and into the bathroom i hear her take a deep breathe before pulling down my joggers and boxers her finger accidently swipes my cock making it hard in an instant, i stand there really embarrassed while she gets up trying to ignore it and leaving me to the toilet i hear her turn while I piss.
When I'm done she pulls up my trousers and boxers roughly before helping me wash my hands and leading me into the kitchen so she can start dinner i didnt even realise the time we sat and listened to music for a really long time, i guess that's why I love that music you sort of lose yourself in it.
"so, what do you want to eat?"
"do you just wanna order pizza or something?"
"yes, thank you im not in the mood to cook right now"
"why? Can't get the image of my cock out of your head?"
"fuck off or I'll order yours with peppers" she officially knows, in my opinion, the most disgusting food ever.
We sit and talk for a while on the sofa eating pizza before she puts in a movie that I can quote every line of and she falls asleep in my arms i know she'll have a nightmare without her pills but i cant bring myself to wake her so I lie with her until I fall asleep aswell.