Disastrous

Fifty Two

I didn't want to go home anymore.

The moment Arabella began driving I had a panic attack and made her pull over. After jumping from the vehicle and sitting down on the side of a road in the gravel, I held my face in my hands and heaved for breaths as I cried. The panic attack lasted more than five minutes, and I just kept my head down, sobbing and gasping for deep enough breaths to satisfy my lungs.

Cars whizzed by us in a blur, but I couldn't focus on anything but the fact that I couldn't breathe. Arabella got out of the car to comfort me but I didn't want anyone to touch me, the only person in the world I wanted now was my mother. She was states away and the thought alone made me cry even harder, my legs trembling as I squished them together on the hard gravel.

"Shay please, I have to get you home, we're causing a scene.." Arabella begged, wrapping her hand around my arm in an attempt to lift me up. My sobs turned into petrified screams as I yanked myself away from her and collapsed back to the ground, backing up until I rested against the open car door. I felt alone and terrified as the news I had received seemed to sink in and overtake my entire mind and body. I had no control over myself as tears soaked my face and I still couldn't breathe, my lungs aching as I continually gasped.

Bringing my knees into my chest, I wrapped my arms around myself and shut the world off, rocking back and fourth silently. The wind blew viciously and I was shaking from my nerves and the increasingly cool temperature, the skies darkening fast.

I felt my best friend squat in front of me, and when she reached out and placed her hand on my knee I grabbed her wrist for comfort. I still couldn't move though, nor could I stop crying but I could finally breathe. The worst of the panic attack was over but I was shaken up and lost with this heartbreaking news.

"Niall is on his way." Arabella informed me softly, rubbing my arm in comfort. "I called him."

10 minutes later Niall's small black car was pulling up and parking behind Arabella's. She stood up as he jogged over to me, getting down on his knees on the gravel in front of my shaking form.

"Shay." He cooed softly, taking my hands into his. "Hey, it's okay, you're okay." He encouraged as he brought me into his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he stood us up, my body tight against his as I cried. I heard Arabella thanking him as one of his hands rubbed my back soothingly, the other holding my head to his chest.

"I've got her." He told her calmly, but with a clipped tone, encasing me in the warmth of his protective body. I knew Arabella didn't tell him exactly what was wrong, but I knew that Niall would put the pieces together and figure out that it had something to do with my ultrasound appointment.

After she was sure I was in safe hands, she kissed my cheek and left to get back to Austen's house where she was still staying. Niall managed to walk me over to his car that was still running, and I managed to stop myself from crying when I peered in the back seat to see Rory awake in his car seat.

"He's okay." Niall assured me, kissing my head gently. I nodded and wiped my cheeks as his arm fell away from around my waist as he opened the passenger door. I slid in, doing up my seatbelt before turning back and clutching Rory's hand. "Hi baby." I sighed, struggling to keep my tears down as I looked at his sleepy figure. He smiled boldly and my heart ached at the realization that I may never see that beautiful smile on another one of Niall and I's children.

I knew how risky everything was now, and I knew the chances of a baby surviving with unhealthy or underdeveloped lungs.

I managed to get myself turned around before the crying started again. As we drove I felt Niall look at me periodically, his hand reaching over to clutch mine tightly.