Disastrous

Twenty Five

I was dragging a brush through my soaking wet hair and fumbling over my own two feet as I scrambled to the door. Someone was knocking consistently, while Niall sat absentmindedly on the couch with Rory placed in his lap.

"I don't want to wake him." Was his excuse as to why I had to towel dry myself in about 10 seconds and spend the next 10 trying to yank on any type of clothing I found laying around so I could answer the door. It was safe to say things between Niall and I were....tense.

Well, maybe a little more than tense.

I was barely able to tolerate him at this point and he probably felt the same with me. All we did when we were alone was bicker, and when we weren't alone we had enough common sense to shut up about our issues because Rory was with us. I found it more important that our son not see and hear us arguing even if he may be too small to understand it. I wasn't about to start off my child's life like that even though majority of the time I fantasized about choking the living shit out of Niall.

"Shay!"

I threw the door open and whisper-yelled a spell of "ssssshhhh's" to Arabella, slightly afraid of waking Rory too. Surely if he woke up I'd get in trouble with Mr. Perfect even though it wouldn't have been my fault.

"How are you?" My friend frowns as she pulls me into her arms. I hug her briefly and glance down at my mess of an outfit and she laughs lightly.

"Not going to lie, I've been better..."

"I can't believe he's 2 weeks old already...." Arabella moves into the apartment and I lightly shut the door behind her. I watch her quietly creep up to the couch to glance at Rory over Niall's shoulder. They still didn't get along too well, though it wasn't surprising.

Niall rudely doesn't even say a word to her and I roll my eyes. He just keeps his eyes on the tv that's playing some stupid soccer match, glancing down at Rory whenever he peels his eyes away. His knees are pushed together and Rory is stretched out over the expanse of his thighs. He's snug in a blue jumper with tiny matching boot-socks on his feet. His dark hair is smooth and I sigh, closing my eyes and remembering the feeling I get whenever I ran my fingers over his array of shaggy soft hair.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Arabella asks me, and I glance away from my baby to look at her.

"Uh, sure.." I barely manage to get out before she's grabbing my arm and pulling me to the kitchen.

"Were you serious about what you said before?" She asks immediately with worried eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. Even with that frown she still looks so effortlessly beautiful with her pretty eyes and blond hair, something I had always been jealous of.

When I don't answer her she rolls her eyes, patience not being one of her strong suits either.

"You know what I'm talking about Shay. If you really want to move out, you know I'd let you come back to the apartment in a heartbeat, right?"

"Keep your voice down, please." I begged her, frantically glancing to the door. The last thing I needed was for Niall to overhear and start a fight with me.

"I know you would Arabella. I just don't know what to do and I don't know what's best for Rory either."

"You still have to think about yourself, you know. What would be best for you, Shay?"

No one ever asked me what I wanted anymore. I could never envy my child now that he's here and that I've fallen in love from the first moment I held him in my arms, but it was nice to know I was still thought about. That was more than I could say with Niall. He seemed to be more and more shutdown from me everyday and I knew part of it was my fault but I just couldn't come clean with him. I couldn't tell him how I really felt about him because I didn't think those feelings he claimed to have, were real.