Disastrous

Sixty Four

Shay's POV

Rory wouldn't stop crying as I pushed the cart throughout the mall, fussing no matter what I did to try to calm him. I feared he was going to reach his terrible 2's stage before he even reached the age of 1.

"Rory, stop it." I scolded quietly, my head pounding and my joints aching. He whined until he got frustrated and started to kick his legs viciously from the cart, nearly catching me in the hips. I sighed in utter frustration and felt like my head was going to explode, or simply just fall off of my shoulders.

The cart had various baby items I was going to need soon, as I had reached my 7th month. The doctor still thought the baby may come prematurely, so it didn't hurt to be prepared now.

It had been nearly a month since the accident, and I hadn't really spoken to Niall since. He had visited with Rory once, but that was it, and though I should have been angry I wasn't going to force him to see his son. Especially not when he did show up, he smelt like a bar and looked like he hadn't slept in a week.

I didn't need that stress in my life.

Paying for the items was a breeze as Rory was beginning to finally fall asleep and wasn't trying to embarrass me in the middle of a department store any longer. After gathering up the shopping and grocery bags in my arms, I maneuvered Rory into my chest as well and did my best to hold everything up. He nestled his face up close to mine, his slobbery lips cold against my flushed skin.

"We're going home now baby." I hummed to him softly, trying not to strain beneath the weight of the bags in my arms. I managed to get out into the parking lot, gasping for breath as the bags were hastily tossed into the trunk. Rory was placed into his seat and buckled in as I rearranged the bags, making sure I didn't break the eggs.

As I got behind the wheel of the car, my hands reached for the keys to start it when I caught something in the corner of my eye. Turning to look, my lids pulled back wide as I saw Niall park a few spots down, him and Tina getting out of the car. I watched them suspiciously, and felt my throat burn when his hand took to the small of her back. She smiled up at him with eyes that once resembled my own. It made my heart ache so badly that I found it hard to breathe, and as her gaze stayed locked on him while going unnoticed by Niall, I swallowed the lump in my throat. Those eyes were intoxicating as they stared at him, and showed nothing but love and appreciation towards him as they walked together towards the entrance of the mall.

Once they were out of sight, I swallowed harshly and turned back to face forward in my seat. My eyes blinked heavily to bat away the tears, and for the first time since I met Niall I knew something for sure.

He and I were finished. The way she looked at him, and the way he touched her proving that. Tina deserved to have him, for all I cared. He wasn't the man I needed him to be for myself or for our babies.

And if he couldn't provide for us what we needed, I'd do it on my own or find someone else who would. Right now though, my sole focus needed to be on my children and that was it.

Driving out of the parking lot of that mall plaza, I felt like I had turned a new stone in my life. My emotions were haywire but I felt at ease, and at peace with my decisions and actions thus far. Niall would always be a piece of my life that I couldn't erase, he would always be someone that I loved and lost, and he would always be the biological father of my children. But he wasn't someone I could be with any longer, he was someone that was poisonous to me and I, to him. Even though it killed me to see another female look at him the way I once did, I knew I had to let him go as he did with me. I could find my own way through life, I could raise my children on my own. Niall would likely be happier without the distractions in his life. If he wanted to ever see his children I would never stop that, but I had to do what was best for my small family and myself.