Disastrous

Sixty Eight

I picked up the phone, fingers fidgeting with my keys. I was sitting down on the examination table in the doctors office, Rory and Kasey sitting in the corner of the room on the floor. They were playing together silently with toys, and it was moments like these that made me grateful that my children got along so well and behaved properly, for the most part, when we were in public. When I was alone and needed to go anywhere with the kids, I was never worried about a meltdown occurring; and I was alone with them often.

"The Doctor will be in to see you in about 15 minutes." The nurse informed as she popped her head through the door. I smiled and thanked her before she left, closing the door behind her.

My ankle was swollen, and the dog had broken the skin where it bit me. I cleaned it up as much as I could at home, and now I was here to get it further looked at, and probably get a tetanus shot.

I looked at the phone again, pressing the numbers in that Austen had recited to me.

My eyes danced up to the kids as I pressed call.

My nerves had my body trembling, but I couldn't back out now.

This had to be done for them. I would do anything for them. Even though it had been so long, he was still their father. It scared me to think about Niall coming back into our lives. I didn't want things to go wrong. I didn't want my children to be disappointed. I didn't want to fight with him. But in my heart, I knew that doing this was right.

"Hello?"

My heart jumped in my chest, my breathing stalling as the air seemed to get caught in my throat. It had been so long since I heard his voice, so long since we talked to one another. I was lost in the moment.

"Hi, Niall." I mumbled quietly, clearing my throat. I felt my chest expanding rapidly, adrenaline rushing.

"Shay? I'm so glad you called." He sounded relieved as he let out a breath of air, like he never expected to hear my voice again. I wasn't sure if I ever expected to hear his again, either.

"Yeah... Austen called me." I informed him, unsure of what else to say. My palms were sweating, my entire body feeling like it was going into shock. At least this shock was distracting me from the pain in my my ankle, though.

"I don't even know where to start." His voice had dropped to a soft whisper, the sound of defeat lingering after his words vanished between us. I nodded, agreeing with him though he couldn't see me.

"Why don't you start by telling me where you've been?"

I didn't intend on my voice to sound angry, or accusing, but the anger still floated beneath the surface of my happy façade. I never truly realized it was still there, waiting to break free and hurt me again, but here I was.

Niall sighed, and I could hear things shifting around on the end of the line; like he was moving or walking somewhere.

"Honestly Shay, I've been in and out of treatment centres for the past two years now."

I sucked in a deep breath, my eyes widening as they darted over to the kids. They were still playing contently, knocking toy cars into other toy cars, and spinning various shaped beads around loops in a track.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, feeling like my heart was in my throat. The mere thought of him being sick, or hooked on something, made me ill.

"I'm great now. I finally figured it out. I won't lie, it wasn't easy. There were a lot of bad times, times that outweighed the good. I think going home is what finally helped though."

"Home?" I sputtered quickly, the question lingering in the air for a second. I had assumed he was still in New York City.

"Yeah, I'm back in Ireland with my family. It was the best decision for me to make. There was nothing left for me in New York and I wasn't getting any better."