Disastrous

Forty One

Songs:
Nicki Minaj - Pills N Potions

•
•
•
•

Shay's POV

I drifted into unconsciousness, seemingly floating in space. I felt as though my limbs were completely weightless, and I was free, but then I suddenly couldn't breathe. The familiarity of hands surrounding my throat appeared and my eyes sprung open. He glared back at me, anger written all over his face. Anger and amusement, as his thumbs pressed down harder, cashing me to choke. Not a noise escaped me as I coughed, my windpipe nearly giving way, collapsing beneath the weight of his arms pushing down on his hands.

I lifted my arms to fight but I was lifeless, my limbs suddenly heavy. I couldn't scream for help and I couldn't fight. He looked like a viscous animal, pushing down harder and harder until my head throbbed and I could feel my pulse beating in my forehead.

I wanted to beg him to stop but it never worked before, and it wouldn't now, even if I could speak.

My eyes fluttered and I felt a different kind of unconsciousness beginning to take me away, my breathing completely cut off......

I shot upright so quickly, every blanket on me flew to the end of the bed. In a panic I kicked them away, panting and screaming, feeling claustrophobic. A lamp beside the bed was switched on and Austen sat up, worry in his eyes. He looked scared and confused as he reached to touch my shoulder, but I flinched away, still present in the dream.

"Hey.." He whispered, just as Rory began to cry, surely from me screaming in the middle of the night.

"Are you okay? What was it?"

I broke down into tears immediately, hunching over in bed, wrapping my arms around the very small belly that was growing.

"Oh, Shay..." He whispered, and hesitantly wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I rolled into his side, crying violently, touching my throat with my fingers. It felt so real. Like I was there all over again.

"It's okay. I promise, it's okay. You're safe. You'll always be safe."

But the dream still lingered, and every time my eyes shut in a blink Julien was there again, wrapping his hands around my throat, smacking me across the face, pushing me down to the floor, punching me in the ribs. Anything he had ever done was reappearing again before my eyes and it made me sick to my stomach.

Austen tried his best to comfort me, but I couldn't handle it, couldn't stand to be touched right now. I scrambled out of bed and away from his arms, picking up Rory, and running out of the room. The hall was pitch black as I ran down it, and outside, Rory's cries subsided now that he was in my arms. Usually he wanted down to crawl around now that he was 9 months old, but for whatever reason he was happy to be held right now. And I was happy to hold him.

The moon is shining brightly and not a cloud is in the sky. The air is getting muggier as the months progress on, and it's far too warm, even for my silk pants and light t-shirt. Rory is soaked right through his undershirt, but his legs are bare and he only wears a diaper.

"Shay."

I gasp and spin around, clutching Rory tightly to my chest in protectiveness. Austen stares at me with wide, saddened eyes.

"You're shaking..." He states with fear written all over his face, but when he reaches out to touch me I shrink myself and move back. My foot slips near the top step, and I grab the railing with my free hand to catch myself. Rory clings to me as he begins to cry, my one arm struggling to hold him up. He whimpers "mu mu mu.." repeatedly with his bum rested against my slightly protruding stomach, that seems to be growing a lot faster than my first pregnancy.