Disastrous

Three

Four more weeks after I found out this nearly heartbreaking news from the doctor, I'm walking into a pregnancy centre. The place is filled with plenty of pregnant women, some looking like they're already about to pop. I pass by a closed door, listening to a woman scream in uttermost agony as someone I assumed to be a midwife tells her to keep pushing.

Quickly passing by that room, I tug the strap of my purse on tighter and walk up to the front counter. A woman is seated on a swivel chair, a pencil between her lips. She's typing away quickly at a keyboard, with a corded phone held tight between her ear and shoulder.

"Uhm, excuse me? My name is Shay Stuart, I have an appointment with-"

"Yeah just give me a sec." She snaps, and I take a step back in surprise. My nerves were already running wild, my hands shaking. I couldn't handle this, but I chose to do it alone even though it would help a lot if I had my best friend here with me holding my hand and telling me it's going to be okay.

"Sorry, what's your name again?" The receptionist asks me once she hangs the phone up.

"Shay Stuart. My appointment is with Doctor Fischer."

She types something into her computer and asks me to take a seat in the reception area.

I turn away slowly, cautiously making my way into the already crowded room. A petite woman with rosy cheeks and golden brown hair picks her purse up to allow me a seat, which I return with a smile.

I pull my own purse into my lap and fiddle with the strap nervously, watching the arms on the clock tick away.

"How far along are you?"

I turn my head, and stare into a set of brown eyes. The exact same shade of her hair, actually. I couldn't help but admire how utterly beautiful this woman was.

"Uhm, I'm two months"

She smiles, placing her hand over top of her barely showing stomach. It was clear this woman was very happy about her pregnancy, something I wasn't. I didn't want to think about the fact of something growing inside of me. I didn't want any attachment, but I didn't think I was capable of that anyways.

"I'm four months. My first, and I'm so excited. My husband couldn't make it to the appointment unfortunately." She frowns and I nod my head slowly, turning away and swallowing the growing lump in my throat. I didn't want her to ask me where my husband was.

It seems like days until I finally hear my name being called. Shakily, I stand from my seat. The woman beside me smiles as I walk towards Dr. Fischer, a tall lanky woman that looked to be in her mid 40's. She had a short blond bob cut that was greying near the top, and a friendly warming smile.

She escorts me into her small office, though it was larger than the room I was in at the hospital when I found out I was pregnant.

"Good afternoon Shay, it's nice to meet you." She shakes my hand and smiles again, and I'm thankful that I got a kind doctor. I don't know what I would do if I got someone cranky, I was scared enough as it was.

"I'd like to get started with some simple questions, if you could have a seat please."

I nod and sit down at the chair beside her desk. She clicks open her pen and flips through some pages, scribbling something down.

"When was the last time you were sexually active, Shay?"

I blush, fingers pulling at my purse strap once more. I tended to fiddle with things when I was nervous.

"Ehm, two months ago" I admit, and she nods, writing it down.

"First pregnancy?"

"Yes"

"Any sexually transmitted diseases?"

"No"

She continues writing, and my breath picks up. I tap my fingers against my thigh, chewing on my lip.

"Uhm, Dr. Fischer? I actually wanted to discuss some of my options with you."

She looks up from the paperwork in front of her, pushing her hair behind her ear. The questioning look on her face tells me she's confused about what I mean.

"I think that I want to - I mean, I want to get an abortion"

She leans back in her chair and crosses her hands together, her mouth forming in an O shape.

"Well, let's discuss that then"

I nod again, leaning back a little and letting some of the weight finally fall off my chest. Now that I said it, it was out there in the open and we could talk about where to go from here. Dr. Fischer takes another form out of her folder, and I watch her scribble my name on the top.

"If this is really what you want to do, we'll have to discuss everything and you will have to be completely honest with me dear. Can you do that?" The twinkle of sadness in her eyes catches me off guard, and for a moment I feel like she's against the abortion of pregnancies. That is until she reaches over to touch my hand gently, and I realize she just feels sorry for me.

"I can do that" I sigh, my breaths still shaky and sporadic. Why the hell didn't I just tell Arabella, she would be able to comfort me right now.

"Can you start off by telling me why this is what you want?"

I thought doctors weren't supposed to ask these types of questions? It was my choice and I wanted what I wanted. I didn't want to think about all of this let alone discuss it. I just wanted it over with.

"I uhm, I'm not ready to be a mom" I say simply, unable to meet her gaze anymore. She sighs, and I hear the squeak of her chair as she leans back.

"There is adoption."

"I'm not ready to be pregnant." I rephrase, tapping my foot steadily at the ground. My face is heating up slowly, my skin on fire. The nausea was returning in the pit of my stomach as yet another hot flash hits me hard. I unzip my jacket, fanning myself quickly while the doctor watches on without a word.

"How does your boyfriend feel about all of this, Shay?" She asks, ignoring the mini fan attack I'm having.

"I don't have a boyfriend. It was a one night stand, I don't even know who he is." No point in hiding anything now.

She scribbles something else down that I can't manage to see, and I take a deep breath.

"Look, could we just schedule an appointment? I'm sure this is what I want and discussing all of this is just making me more uncomfortable."

"Shay, you need to understand something." Dr. Fischer crosses her hands in her lap and then crosses her legs. Her hair falls out from behind her ear again but she ignores the blond feathery strands in her face.

"A new rule for abortions has recently been enforced. It requires the signatures of both the woman carrying the fetus and the father of the child, otherwise the procedure cannot be completed."

My chest tightens up immediately and once again I feel as though I may pass out. This couldn't be happening, no, no, no, no. I didn't know him, how would I ever find him?

"How long do I have?" I ask, my bottom lip quivering. I fight desperately to push down the tears that are threatening to surface and ruin my somewhat composed self. This was a nightmare.

"Well, you're already 2 months along. Usually abortion is out of the question after four months, because the procedure becomes too risky after that."

I had two months to track down this man, this unknown man, in New York City, and get him to sign for my abortion.

I was completely, utterly, and absolutely screwed.

A/N:

Wowwww Shay you're my own character and you make me mad hah

Tell me what you guys think pleasssse :)