Disastrous

Fifty Four

In complete exhaustion I drained the remaining water from my pot of Mr. Noodles and poured the chicken flavouring over it. As I mixed it with a spoon I was nearly falling asleep over my terrible excuse for dinner, sighing outwardly and just about to place the first bite into my mouth when Rory let out the loudest scream possible from his bedroom.

I dropped my fork into the bowl and sprinted out of the kitchen and across the living room, stepping on a squeaking toy as I ran. "Fuck!" I cursed as the ridiculous thing let out a howl of protest from my weight, scaring the living hell out of me.

Quickly shaking my anxiety I strode at a fast pace into Rory's room to see him standing in his crib, his beautiful face scrunched up in horror and bright red from his heavy downfall of tears. His small fists were grasping the wooden frame so tightly that his small fingers were turning white.

"Shh shh baby, it's okay, I'm right here." I whispered in an attempt to comfort him, lifting him from the confinement of his crib and holding him firmly in my arms. He let out a wail against my chest and I hummed a tune to him softly, rocking my body up and down as I paced the room.

"What's wrong Rory? What happened to my baby?" I asked him softly, stroking his darkening hair gently with my fingers as I struggled to hold him against me with one arm.

"t-the mons...monser.." He strugglingly whimpered, crying harder against me as I now switched to rubbing his back. The monster, he was saying.

I walked over to the door and quickly turned the light on, switching off his multicoloured night light that flashed patterns of sea animals on the ceiling. He loved anything that swam or lived in the ocean.

In fact, he told me in the best language an 11 month old can muster that when he gets big like daddy he wants to become a beluga whale.

I told him that he can be absolutely anything he wants to be.

"No monster, peanut. Mommy promises." I said in the happiest voice I could muster, kissing his heated cheek. In an instant he sat upright in my arms and the crying stopped as he looked at me, my heart clenching as those beautiful blue eyes stared long and hard into mine.

"No monser?" He said enthusiastically, his hands splayed against my collar bones.

"Nope. Look, I'll show you."

Walking over to the play mat, I set Rory down with hesitance as he wasn't willing initially to let me go. Placing a stuffed toy in his arms, I got his attention on me and crawled over to his crib. Bending further so I could peer underneath, I tisk'd my tongue and glanced back at my son.

"No monster here."

He smiled happily as I crawled some more, over to his change table. I lifted the package of diapers and turned my head back and fourth, humming quietly.

"No monster here either, baby."

When I looked back he was still smiling, the only remnants of his tears being the blotchy streaks on his puffy little cheeks.

Getting to my feet, I pulled Rory into my arms again and looked down the front of his onesie at his chest. "Would you look at that, no monster here either!"

Rory squealed loudly and clapped his hands, giggling uncontrollably as I kissed his neck and tickled his tummy. I was laughing too, through my exhaustion, just glad that I had my littler person to share my time with.

Trying to put Rory back to sleep was a different story.

I feared that he had night terrors, though apparently he was too young for that according to his physician. I thought she was crazy, my son was ridiculously smart and terrified to sleep. He observed things a lot of kids his age didn't in my opinion, and this new phase of seeing "monsters" proved my theory that he was afraid. I paced his room with the light on, then off with the night lights on. When that didn't work I added some calming music, then tried no music again.