Disastrous

Fifty Nine

I sunk further into the confines of the bathtub, letting the hot water soak up to my lips. I blew gentle bubbles in and watched as the ripples floated by, pulling my knees up to my chest afterward. The warmth heated my cold skin but did nothing to warm the unmistakeable ache of freezing pain in the centre of my chest.

I could hear Rory's feet padding down the hallway outside the luxurious bathroom, his giggles loud and flamboyant as Austen's voice echoed laughter as well. I wanted to smile at the realization that he was chasing him around, playing with him, but no matter what I did I couldn't force myself to mask the pain for even a moment and feel a tiny bit of joy for something that should make me happy.

I was a wreck, a mess of emotions and unfairness of the current situations I was once again thrust into. One week spent away from Niall hadn't done anything to help settle the throb I endured in my heart every time I thought of him. I wished desperately to start over with him, to go back to the beginning and do things differently to ensure this mess never occurred in the first place.

And I was starting over. Just not with Niall.

In exactly two days I was moving back home, to live with my mother in Kentucky where I was already signed up for online college courses and already had a job set up as well. Now, I was located in Austen's spacious house, and in two or three months he would be selling this place and moving to Kentucky as well. In the short period of time we spent together since I came back to stay with him again, we discussed things and decided that we missed each other too much - but as friends.

Austen wanted to come to Kentucky for business opportunities and we thought it would be a good idea to eventually be roommates. For now though, I just wanted to be with my mother and my son.

Niall was contacted and knew that we were moving, and he agreed that he thought it was best for me. We would have to work everything else out, such as visitings with the kids, and he wanted to be at the hospital for the birth of our second baby, but it was all things that I had no desire to worry about right now. I just wanted to go home and forget a huge chunk of my life I spent in New York.

I hadn't spoken to Arabella and I didn't plan to. She knew where we stood and that was the end of it. Niall would be in the exact same situation if we didn't share children together, it would be impossible for me to block him out for that reason though.

I desperately wanted to have a longer conversation with him than the 10 minute phone call I gave him to let him know we were leaving. Chelsea had hinted that Niall had been up to no good for long, and my brain refused to let up and wanted every little last detail. However, I knew that wouldn't help me in any way. I knew for a fact that Niall was sleeping with people when I was gone, probably drinking more than he should have been and possibly doing drugs. I wanted to not care about what he did in that time because we weren't together, but it sickened me to death knowing I had been intimate with him after he had likely been with many other women.

What if he had given me....something?

The thought made me gag. Never did I think I would ever be having thoughts like this, or be in a situation like this.

Without thinking I sat upright in the tub and slipped my arm outside of the porcelain, drying it off quickly with a towel and picking up my cellphone. I dialled Niall's number and bit my lip as I sank back into the warmth, goosebumps crawling across my skin.

My cramping was getting a little worse, but I had thought the warm water would help. I slid my palm down over my bellybutton and groaned as the ringing stopped and immediately went to voicemail.

My heart swelled at the familiar voicemail, and tears welled up in my rapidly blinking eyes as Niall's happy voice cheered "You've reached Niall and Shay, we're busy with a baby so leave a message!" He then proceeded to laugh, that hearty laugh that made a smile creep onto your own lips even if you didn't think it was funny. I remembered pinching him as he made the voicemail, telling him not to leave my name and laughing with him as he giggled from my hands. The voicemail ends with my high pitched squeal as he had crawled on top of me, muffling the phone between us, and then the line goes silent. Moments later, the beep that sounds signals me to leave my message but I couldn't gulp down my tears fast enough to make a noise.

Quickly hanging up, I dropped my phone to the floor and placed my face in my hands, feeling utterly lost and alone and vulnerable.

Niall's POV

The phone had just stopped ringing as I dove across the sofa, clasping the touch screen that was lodged between two cushions. I let out a string of "fuck's" and crinkled my nose up upon feeling something....gooey in the couch beside my phone. Disgusting.

Ignoring whatever it was, I immediately hit redial as I knew exactly who it was that phoned. Shay had her own ring tone and that wasn't going to change.

She picked up on the last ring, and I was grateful that she picked up at all. My chest ached as I heard her sniffle and my breathing nearly stopped.

"What's wrong? Is Rory okay? The baby?" I blurted, feeling anxious as she stayed quiet.

"Everything's fine." She sighed tiredly, and I heard the splash of water echo in the background.

"Everything doesn't sound or seem fine. You don't seem fine."

She sniffled again, and I wanted nothing more than to be there with her to make her feel better. But I couldn't make her feel better anymore. It made me sick how toxic I was to this woman.

"I'm fine, Niall. I'm just emotional and I want answers but I don't want to hurt anymore."

"I don't want you to hurt either. But if you want to ask me questions, you can. I'm not hiding anything anymore." I admitted quietly. I wanted her to ask me questions.

"If I leave will you be running right into the arms of Arabella?" I heard her small gasp directly after she asked me the question, and my guess was she hadn't meant to ask. I thought she would have know the answer to that by now.

"I don't have any feelings for her, Shay. We aren't even friends. I won't be running to her, or anyone. I'm going to focus on bettering me, so I can be a be a fantastic and reliable dad to our kids."

I said these words with seriousness and pride. No more women. No more partying. No more drinking. No more drugs. None of it. Shay didn't deserve my nonsense and neither did our beautiful children. I already wasn't going to see them as much because Shay was literally running from me and this city, but she deserved to get herself together too.

"I just want to make sure you were...safe, when you were ehm...when you..." She trailed off and her voice when completely rigid, emotionless.

"I understand. And yes. One hundred percent. Shay, I just want you to know that I never meant to-"

"I know Niall, take care of yourself, okay?"

I mumbled a quick thanks and wished her well too, and then she was gone, off the phone faster than she came, like we never even spoke in the first place.

A/N:
sorry again for the wait I'm just trying to work everything in this story out. I'm not exactly sure how many chapters we have left but it won't be too many, but quite a few I guess. I just hope you guys are still interested. I'm really trying my best to keep this interesting but also realistic and not repetitive.

Let me know what you think. Any guesses of what's going to happen?

Who wants Shay and Niall to stay apart, and who wants them back together?

I'll try to post again ASAP