Leaving The Past Behind ❤️

Silence

Invisible machinery
These moving parts inside of me
Well, they've been shutting down for quite some time
Leaving only rust behind

-Touch, Sleeping at Last

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After avoiding everyone in her room for the rest of the day, Poppy woke up early the following morning before anyone else to make breakfast. She made a pan full of scrambled eggs before turning off the burner to set it on a cold one as she made coffee. She made herself a cup before going out the back door to the patio to find that she wasn't the only one up, Steve sat on a patio chair in silence. She watched him slowly glare up at her, not saying anything. "I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was out here. I made breakfast." She offered him her coffee cup, "coffee?"

Steve shook his head, "no thanks." He avoided looking at her as he got up to go into the house. He passed Bucky in the kitchen as he went into his room, closing the door.

Bucky sighed, walking to the back patio to see Poppy standing alone, "good morning. Are you the one that made breakfast?"

She smiled, nodding as she looked at him as he took his place next to her, "yeah. I don't know why Steve hates me so much."

Bucky shrugged, "he doesn't hate you. He's just angry at the world, himself most of all. He'll get over it. It isn't your fault. Him and Nat were really close, especially during those five years most the rest of us were gone."

"Oh." She nodded, looking down at her coffee, "were they... you know. Together?"

"No." Bucky shook his head, "up until recently, Steve has only had eyes for one woman. But she isn't an option anymore. Yet another reason he's so angry. Just let him go through his annoying teenage angst and try to ignore him." He smiled as she giggled, nodding as she looked back up at him. He motioned to the house, "come on. I'll go wake up Sam so we can eat breakfast."

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After breakfast, Poppy roamed through the house until she found the study. The back wall had a fireplace with floor to ceiling books, making her grin as she entered the room with a small excited gasp.

Steve watched Poppy from the corner of the room, her not noticing him as she walked to the bookshelves. He watched her run her fingers gently along the spines before she finally grabbed one, turning to face him as she jumped, noticing him for the first time.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't know you were in here."

Steve shrugged, looking back down at his own book, "it's fine. You can stay if you don't talk." He noticed a small smile as she nodded, taking a seat across the room from him as she opened the book. He watched her bring her feet up on the chair, getting comfortable as she leaned on her left arm, reading the book. He watched her blue green eyes flitting across the pages, looking like gemstones in the light of the fireplace. He had always imagined being cuddled together on a couch with a woman, his woman, reading together silently. The ability to be together silently and still be content, that was always the true test of a relationship to him. He sighed softly to himself, looking back down at his book as he tried to avoid looking at the small jewels that lived across the room.

Poppy saw Steve looking at her before going back to reading his book. She took the time to survey him for the first time since arriving. He was bigger and broader than she had imagined him to be before they met. She had always admired the man Natasha knew, Captain America. She was afraid he was no longer the man she heard stories about. He carried extra stress lines around his tired and sad eyes. She had yet to see him smile since she arrived, wondering if that was something he did anymore.

Bucky entered the study, seeing Poppy in the far corner of the room before noticing Steve next to the door in the corner. He turned to him, "can we talk?"

Steve sighed and nodded, setting the book on his chair as he stood up. He looked at Poppy to see her watching them, giving him a small smile before he left. He followed Bucky into the kitchen where Sam was. "What's up?"

Bucky crossed his arms, "we wanted to talk to you. About Poppy. About everything. You don't need to be such a dick to her Steve."

Steve rolled his eyes as he sighed annoyedly, "I know. What else."

Bucky shrugged, "you've been different since you got back. I know things didn't go the way you planned, but you can't keep going on like this. You think I wanted to end up here as the Winter Soldier, with a metal arm? You think Poppy ever asked to be taken to the Red Room and become one of Dreykov's girls? Of course not! But here we are, learning and living and adjusting." He watched Steve tense up as he looked down at the ground. "Look, I'm sorry we lost Nat. And Tony. But you acting like this is not going to bring either of them back. Please Steve."

Steve groaned, "I'm trying, okay?" He took a file that Bucky offered him that was on the counter, "what is this?"

Bucky took a step towards him as he lowered his voice, "Poppy's file. Fury left it. Maybe you should read it before you go giving her a hard time."

Steve sighed, clenching his jaw as he opened the file to find a picture of a small girl with strawberry blonde hair clutching a raggedy bunny plushie. He slammed the file shut, "okay."

Bucky nodded, motioning to Sam as he looked at Steve. "Are you going to do it?"

Steve nodded, "yes. Of course, I'm sorry." Steve went into the living room, grabbing his shield before coming back into the kitchen. He looked at the shield once more before handing it to a confused Sam.

"What is this?"

Steve shrugged, "I'm retiring. I'm no longer Captain America, you are."

Sam stood up with the shield, "I thought it was going to be Bucky."

Steve shook his head, "no. We talked about it and both decided it should be you. Erskine said he chose me not because I was the good soldier, but because I was the good man. I think you're a good man Sam and no one deserves it more than you."

Sam smiled, "wow Steve. I don't know what to say. Thank you."

Steve smiled as Sam hugged him. He nodded, clearing his throat, "right. I'll leave you guys to it." He took the file to his room, slamming the door as he did. He sat on the bed with the file shut in front of him. He didn't want to read the file, he wasn't sure he could handle what it contained. He knew the horrors of the Red Room from talking with Natasha. He stood up, pacing a few times before finally groaning, sitting to read the file.