Just A Personal Assistant

forty eight - a feeling exposed

Harry called for Uber after Zayn fell asleep on the bench. That's what 8 bottles of beer does to you. It came after a few minutes and took them home.

As they arrived at Louis' bus, Louis was outside pacing back and forth. Harry stepped out of the car and sighed as he saw his boyfriend panicking, knowing that a lecture will have to follow. He dragged Zayn by his shoulder and approached the bus. Louis gave him a furious and disappointed look before Harry gave him a sorry and guilty one. The blue eyed boy just shook his head and opened the door for his boyfriend, receiving a small thank you.

Harry placed Zayn on the top bunk above him and covered him with the blanket provided. As he closed the curtains to the bunk and turned around, Louis was standing on the hallway fuming.

"Where were you?!" Louis yelled at Harry as he approached him. "I've been worried sick about you! You didn't text. You didn't call. Nothing! There were paparazzis - everywhere outside the bus just a few hours ago! And the time, Harry! The freaking time! Do you even have a watch with you? It's almost - 2 in the morning and where the hell did you even go?! What if you got mobbed? What if you-"

"Is this really about that, Louis? Huh? You're sounding a lot like Damian! Do you even care about me or do you only care about your – your image? Your reputation! I've been with you through thick and thin and you can't even hold my hand in public! Is your management the one who doesn't want you out the closet or you?" Harry shouted back as he flailed his hands around. His jaw gets tight at every second passing between them.

"Are you being serious right now? You don't think I don't want to be able to hold hands with you in public and - kiss you and cuddle you! Is that what you think?" The other boy walked around Harry to the point where they switched places.

"It seems like it, Louis!"

"Is this how little you think of me? Did it ever occur to you that I'm hurting too? I'm trying, Harry? Can't you see that? You get to go out with Zayn just because your friends! You get to hug and touch and laugh together, not giving a care in the world! And we can't do that because people will be mad! People will be disgusted!"

"What the fu- It WON'T be the same when we go out because we're not just friends! We're lovers! L-O-V-E-R-S, Louis! Lovers!" rage flowed through Harry like lava. "And disgusted Louis? Do you really think they will be disgusted? You're in this relationship TOO".

"It doesn't matter! Everything is keeping us apart!" his body trembled with fear and anger "This love we have isn't ours, Harry! Open up your mind! Can't you see? It's not up to us! Everything, everyone tells us what we can be! We are tied in this set of rules made for u-"

"MADE FOR US? There are no rules made for us! You! You put these rules up for us! We're going in circles!-"

You're not listening to me Harry! I want out to-"

"You? You want out?" Harry chuckled darkly and bitterly as a new set of rage went in his head. "Of course-" Louis was cut with another loud laugh from Harry. "I'm sorry this is just funny. You want out yet you don't. That's just ironically beautiful."

"What are you talking about Harry? Let's just go to bed and talk about this in the morning"

"Wow! Yo-you" The green eyed boy chuckled again, "You want to sleep? You started this, you'll end it too."

"Why are you being selfish? Just because you had a bad past doesn't mean you could - you could... bring it all back to me!" Louis blurted out of nowhere. Harry's eyes got darker and his knuckles went whiter from how tight his fist was. "I didn't mean t-"

"SELFISH? I'M BEING SELFISH? Who here in this room right now didn't want to hold my hand earlier? Who here in this room is asking too much of me? Who here in this room is ready to give everything up to be with your dumb arse? Huh, Louis? Don't call me selfish, you arsehole. Cause I am willing to give up everything just ask me too. And you wouldn't because you're a coward." the younger boy chuckled bitterly as his statement ended. Rage filled his brain. Nearly causing him to be breathless.

"What do you want me to say, Harry?" Louis' voice came out as a whisper, he backed up on the wall and slid down. "I'm tired, Harry. I want to be yours, you to be mine. I want them to know me as yours, not hers. I want them to know that you're more than a personal assistant. You're my everything. But..." the older boy's eyes started to flow with new tears, filled with sadness and pain. It was radiating all throughout the room that if you were there, you would see it. "A contract makes everything hard. A freaking piece of paper with my signature. I only wanted a change in my life, but not this much. Never this much. And is that my fault? For wanting more? And you came. You came and messed everything up."

"What? Are you drunk?" Harry took a step back and placed a hand in his chest and another on the wall to balance himself.

"It's not like that. I was coping with the change. Getting used to it. And you came and messed up all of my habits. And you became one. I'm not making sense, am I?" Louis chuckled as a snot left his nose.

"No," Harry smiled, starting to understand what Louis was saying. He chuckled back and sat next to his crying boyfriend.

"I don't know what to say. I don't... how to say what I want to say.".

Harry rested his head on Louis' shoulder and said, "Me too, me too.".

"You do know I love you right? So much" Louis turned his head to the right and placed a loving kiss on Harry's forehead.

"I know".

After a while, the rain started falling down the roof of the bus. They were supposed to leave in a few hours for the next tour in Liverpool. The rain was calming almost. Harry always hated the rain, but not today. It reminded him that the world needs an outlet too.

"Let's go faraway, after this England tour. I have a week off. Let's go away, just the two of us. What do you say?"

"Sounds good".

(A/N: This fight scene is stupid, I know :((( )