TIAN GUAN CI FU Fan fic stories

GUOSHI IS THIS CLOSE TO FIGURING IT OUT!!!

- CHAPTER  1 -

The best Guoshi that ever existed has decided that he deserves a vacation.

What? Who's this best Guoshi? Hmph, what arrogance to ask. Who could it be but Mei Nianqing?

Need any proof? Well, then! How many Guoshi could say that they'd taught two (TWO!!!!) individuals who ASCENDED TO THE HEAVENS? Well, maybe one of them got a little bit—it wasn't his fault though, it was just—

WELL, NEVER MIND THAT! How many Guoshi could even say that they'd taught one student who'd cultivated immortality? Go on, take your time, think up a few. Guoshi can wait.

What's that? You've got a name, there's another one? Who is it?

THAT'S RIGHT! THE OTHER ONE IS NONE OTHER THAN GUOSHI'S VERY OWN STUDENT, HIS HIGHNESS THE CROWN PRINCE! Truly the gift that keeps on giving, and Guoshi was the one who gifted it. You're welcome, you're welcome.

Yes, yes, his endearing little pupil had apparently had some kind of moral stumble; but who hasn't flown into a murderous rage following the destruction of their kingdom every once in a while? That sort of pesky thing couldn't be blamed on the teacher, it was just bad luck. Never mind that it had happened to Guoshi twice—

BUT TECHNICALLY ONLY ONCE (BECAUSE XIE LIAN HADN'T GONE THROUGH WITH IT!)

Sort of...

But ah, this type of thing could be forgiven. After all, Xie Lian was a rare gem, truly polished to a shine by Guoshi; he possessed the three qualities most important in any student:

STRONG CULTIVATION

CALLIGRAPHY

AND CELIBACY!

Yes, celibacy. What, intimacy is an uncomfortable topic? It's WEIRD, to triumph this kind of thing about a student? Well, Guoshi doesn't see what's uncomfortable about the topic, especially if the point is its absence, obviously. Indeed, Guoshi had seen to it that Xie Lian had only learned the essentials.

It's not like Guoshi had been irresponsible about it, though. He'd given Xie Lian what he considered an excellent sex ed, mind you! In fact, he'd taught it himself.

"Um...Guoshi?" a young Xie Lian had stuttered, visibly uncomfortable. "Can I ask you a weird question? I'm too embarrassed to tell mom..."

Suspicious, Guoshi turned around and narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"...um, the other day while I was sleeping, I, I thought I had an accident in bed, but instead, there was something else coming out? Um, and my thing was kind of...hard?" He'd looked up, confused. "Is it normal for it to do that?"

"No," Guoshi had replied curtly. "It only does that if it's about fall off."

Guoshi frowned, remembering the screams and sobs of terror that had followed shortly after. Well, maybe he'd been abrupt, but the sense of fear was important! It had to be taught early, before anything else!

Though, it's true, he'd had to correct the mistake later. After all, he'd had to teach Xie Lian how to be properly abstinent for his cultivation, and that necessitated a bit more specific instruction.

But, who could have guessed??? Just as expected from his star student: if there was something Xie Lian was even BETTER at than calligraphy, it was CELIBACY!!!!!

"Guoshi!" Xie Lian had burst out joyfully one day, his cheeks flushed, as he came into the learning pavilion one day. "It worked!"

Guoshi was hard at work playing cards with the three other Guoshi, who seemed absolutely fixated on the game. Without looking, he responded: "Hm? What did?"