Lifetime

Campfire

Tristan lived in the biggest house in our neighborhood, directly at the end of a cul de sac, cars currently lined and parked on the street and grass. I knew he often stayed in that giant house alone with his parents traveling internationally for work, and in seeing the insane amount of space on the inside, I wondered if he ever got lonely.

Tonight it was packed with our peers and some students I recognized from other schools. Girls kicked their shoes off, tucked into various corners of the rooms and boys stripped themselves of their jackets, wearing loosened ties around their necks.

Jimin held on to my hand, leading us sideways past the bodies that filled the living room, a sheen of sweat covering us as we found a small opening against the wall that I could lean against comfortably. He stood at an angle, keeping one arm around me while we chatted with a few people who came over. Hobi was as lively as ever, keeping the party energized as he danced around with people in the middle of the living room.

I kept most of my focus on Jimin, entranced by him in a way that made me admit to the thing I'd been denying and trying to figure out for most of my life. Despite my years of journaling and researching, I hadn't yet accounted my feelings into the data I had and now that I did, I was sure that I could accept that it was all real.

"Are you okay?" He offered me his cup and I realized I probably seemed dazed.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" I yelled over the music, watching as he assessed the crowd and path we needed to take for some privacy. He nodded toward the stairs, fewer people on the second floor of the house, and started scooching by people with me behind him to find an empty room.

We went past the line of people outside the bathroom, peeking into a room where a couple was making out and another that greeted us with a gust of smoke before stepping into the empty master's suite. We were careful not to disturb anything, sitting next to each other on the bench at the foot of the bed.

He chuckled as he tugged a few strands of my hair back into place, making me realize that I hadn't looked in the mirror since the ride over. When he finished he pecked from my cheek to my lips, his hand curved around the nape of my neck.

"I think you're my soulmate." I breathed when we pulled away. I felt his mouth spread into a smile as he kissed along my jaw, everything I was feeling spilling out of me before I could question any of it. "I think I could spend forever with you. Maybe we'll get an apartment together if we end up at the same school and then once we graduate—"

He stilled, his brow pulled together when he leaned away from me, dropping his hands to his sides. "What are you talking about, Sel?" He questioned.

His tone indicated that I said something wrong so I explained further, rambling off to him. "I finally accepted tonight that this whole soulmate thing might just be real. There's this whole history about soulmates in my family that's hard to explain but I'll tell you about it later. The point is that I'm pretty sure you're mine and that's why we both have this feeling about each other."

"I'm not your soulmate. We're only seventeen." He shook his head, the laugh he let out one of amusement and disbelief.

My heart rate picked up, fear crawling over my skin. "You said you love me." There was a tingling behind my eyes and nose that I tried to fight.

He stood. "I do, but we have our whole lives ahead of us. We're not even the same people that we'll be in five or ten years. Plus, I got into Paris Marais. I was going to tell you tonight." He confessed.

The first tear fell down my cheek, my eyes cast down. "Then I'll come to Paris. I can study anywhere." I negotiated.

"Sel, you can't. Whatever this whole crazy, soulmate thing is you think we have, I can't give you that." He said. I blinked a couple of times, the water in my eyes pooling out. He didn't seem to know what to do, standing in front of me before leaning down to kiss the top of my head. "I'm sorry." He sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair before leaving the room.