Lifetime

Reconciliation

Faye stepped through our apartment door an hour later, kicking off the stiletto heels she wore with a groan. I was curled up on the couch with puffy eyes, having spent the time alone grumbling to myself about my disappointment in the night.

"Sel, what happened?" She asked, propping a leg underneath her as she sat on the cushion next to me.

"Everything," I sighed, moving into a ramble, "first it was my mom and then I went to Yoongi's and he was there with Erica so I left and he followed me—"

She cut me off, her eyes wide with shock. "He what?" She yelled.

"I walked in on him and Erica in the beginning or middle of hooking up or something. I don't know." I sighed, burying my face in my hands at the image.

She sported her hilariously non-intimidating angry face, her brow pulled together and lips pursed as she stood. "Okay I'm putting my shoes back on so I can shove one of them up his ass." She moved to the door, holding up one of the pointed heels, assessing the damage she could do.

Whether she was serious or making an attempt to get me to laugh, it worked. A crackly giggle moved past my mouth, the tremble in my hands fading as I responded. "Don't, it's probably stupid. He was right when he said we're not together."

"He said that?" She shouted with exaggeration, coming back over to me. "Even if you aren't, it's bullshit. I know I told you he doesn't date but I've never seen him in the type of relationship you and him have, even with his friends. He has friends like me, social friends, but not people he invites into his space, into his whole world. He's an idiot." She reassured me. It didn't necessarily make me feel better, but at least I wasn't alone in thinking we had a connection far beyond friendship.

We ranted back and forth about the situation until we were talking in circles and fell asleep on the couch. The bright sunlight that peeked through the curtains woke us the next morning, Faye's eyes practically stuck together from the makeup she hadn't wiped off and mine oddly swollen from crying too much.

"Ugh, last night was a disaster." She commented, peeling off her lashes and setting them on the table. "I'm going to shower."

She stood from the couch and I followed her, going through my skincare routine while she showered, both of us belting out the lyrics to "Bust Your Windows."

I got distracted by her phone buzzing against the back of the toilet, the ceramic creating a clinking noise as Yoongi called her once, then twice, and thrice. I ignored the sound each time, Faye finally sticking her cap-covered head from behind the curtain to see who was trying to reach out. She scoffed when she saw his name, clicking a button so that it would send him to voicemail, a message in itself.

"Retail therapy?" She asked, the idea seeming to pop into her head as she stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself as I finished moisturizing.

We ventured out to a couple of thrift shops and I picked out a few pairs of jeans and a vintage Nirvana t-shirt that reminded me of my parents, walking back with our hands full of bags just at sunset. Faye stopped in her tracks as we turned the corner from the elevator, stomping toward Yoongi as he waited outside our door.

"What are you doing here? Haven't you done enough?" She stormed toward him, her key jingling in her hand.

"Seline, can we talk?" He ignored her, looking past her shoulder to me.

She shook her hand near his face. "Oh no, you don't get to talk to her right now. You can talk to me if you want to talk to someone."

He pushed her hand down, annoyance written on his face. "Faye, we're friends. Don't act like this." He tried to calm her down.

"We are friends, which is why I can call you out when you're being a dumbass." She scolded him. Their interaction was happening so fast that I didn't know how or if I should jump in, my cheeks reddening as she came to my defense.

"I know, which is why I want to talk to her." He was pleading with Faye. She turned to look back at me, knowing that the ultimate decision was mine. I sighed, handing her the two bags I carried to take inside and turned back toward the elevator without a word.

Yoongi followed and I pressed the code that would give us access to the rooftop, courtesy of the charm Faye worked on the doorman to our building, feeling that an open space would be necessary for this conversation.

I wrapped my jacket tighter around me, hit by the cool breeze of night as we stepped out onto the rooftop. Yoongi trailed behind me, quiet when I turned to face him.

"So talk." I shrugged when he was silent too long for my liking.

When he took a step toward me I took one backward, keeping the distance between us. As angry as I was with him, the draw to him was still there, urging me to release the pain because he was my soulmate.

"I screwed up and I can't lose our friendship." He unfolded his arms, holding out his hands in a way that made him look helpless.

"Is that all?" I spat, needing more.

He looked dejected and it almost led me to closing the space between us, to reaching out for a hug, but I resisted, putting my short temper to the side to listen to him. "I don't understand the way I feel about you, all I know is that I've never felt anything close to this before. I don't know what to do about it so I've been trying to keep this balance of friendship because I can't not be around you but I feel like I can't be with you." He confessed.

His last sentiment broke my heart and I had to work to keep my voice steady as I replied. "Why can't you be with me?"

He walked closer to the edge of the building, sitting with his knees pulled to his chest. I sat next to him, crossing my stretched out legs over one another. "Because that night when I first met you, when I kissed you, it was overwhelming, consuming." My brow furrowed at his accurate description, though it seemed he saw it in a negative light. Being overwhelmed and consumed by our connection felt incredible for me. "I think if I kissed you again it would take over everything. Nothing has ever been more important to me than my music but you could be if I let it happen. My music is everything to me, it always has been. It's the one constant thing in my life."

If there was one thing I knew and understood about him, it was his passion and focus. We spent a few minutes in silence before I replied, processing his words and their meaning. "Okay, then friends?" I let out a sigh of acceptance, reaching out for his hand as I stood.

"Yeah," he replied, pressing his lips to the back of my palm before standing, "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you I was seeing other people. I should have made everything clear."

We were interrupted by the sound of the door opening, Faye's head peeking outside. "Just doing a safety check to make sure you haven't pushed him off the roof. All good!" She called out, our laughter echoing into the night. He invited me to stay at his apartment but I declined, needing another night to reconcile my feelings and trust that what we had would somehow be enough.