Lifetime

Cravings

We fell back into an easy routine where we spent our days working side by side. He'd cook while I went out for short photo shoots so that I came back to his apartment to the smell of a delicious meal. He let me join him during some late evenings in the studio, sitting me on his lap as he taught me about different controls and laughing as he convinced me that he could even transform my mediocre singing voice into something amazing using the right tools.

Yoongi wasn't overly affectionate. We didn't indulge in an excess of making out, rarely even kissing, but I noticed the subtle ways he touched me. He liked to rest his hands on my hips while I poured our morning coffee and would watch me dance around the living room to the music he played for me. He'd only kiss my cheek in a swift parting before one of us headed off to work or before falling asleep at night.

At the end of the week I found myself back at Larry's bar, the place where we first met. I spotted him as soon as I walked through the door, sending over a wave as he chatted with one of the artists he'd been working with. I set my purse and camera bag down at one of the small tables in front of the stage, Larry raising his head to acknowledge me as I took a seat.

I hadn't been waiting for five minutes before a server brought over an order of my favorite nachos and beer, Yoongi joining me at the table a moment later. He talked enthusiastically about the show while he shared my food, the server's attention focused on us as they brought refills quicker than we could empty our cups.

"How's Evi doing?" I asked, checking in on the artist who was having her first show tonight.

He chuckled, peeking over his shoulder toward the back of the stage. "She's nervous, which is normal, but she'll do great." He was self-assured in a way that showed he'd been performing for a long time.

When other patrons started to fill the bar, calling his attention, he kissed my cheek, heading backstage to prepare for the show. Faye showed up just as the lights dimmed, stretching from a long day of work as she took the seat next to me.

"I'm so glad we get VIP service now that you're with Yoongi." She said between a mouthful of fries. I realized I'd been naive, thinking that the constant stream of appetizers and drinks were from impeccable service rather than his request that I be taken care of.

The building was nearly full, making me think that he'd soon need to start booking larger spaces for his performers, and as he took the stage the same feeling washed over me as when I laid eyes on him for the first time. "May I present to you the acoustic sounds of my dear friend, Evi." He spoke softly into the microphone, applause ringing through the room as she stepped onto the stage, occupying the stool next to him as she introduced her first song.

They made the kind of music that filled you with a gentle comfort, Yoongi's smooth stringing and Evi's deep lyrics creating an atmosphere that left the room in awe. She was a natural at interacting with the audience, balancing her jokey nature with expressing gratitude as we clapped to excess after every song.

"This last one is going to be pretty raw and uncut. We just wrote it together last week and we've never performed it in full," she giggled into the microphone, "but we wanted to share it tonight. We dedicate this one to the love that is so big it feels impossible."

The room was completely silent as they started, an emotion in the song that echoed through every person in the audience. To describe her voice as beautiful wasn't enough, and even when it cracked with the heavy passion of the lyrics, it only added to the meaning behind it all.

Tears brimmed in my eyes as they finished and we stood, cheering as she took a closing bow. Faye and I spent some time drinking until she was too tired to stay out any longer, leaving along with most of the crowd before Yoongi emerged from backstage.

I'd moved to the bar, chatting with Larry between him serving customers until Yoongi took the seat next to me, fiddling with two business cards tucked between his fingers. Intoxicated and curious, I grabbed them, reading the names of two representatives from 300 Entertainment and XL Recordings.

"You leaving me for the big time already Yoongibear?" I held onto my seat and the edge of the bar for balance, giggling at the way the nickname rolled off my tongue.

He chuckled. "How much have you had to drink?" He asked, avoiding my question and grabbing my seat to keep me from spinning around in it.

The serious look in his eye sobered me a little and I stood, gripping onto his arm since I was still a little wobbly. "Wait, you are leaving aren't you?" I realized as he stood, his mouth flat as he helped me into my coat.

"Let's talk about it at my place." His response did nothing to comfort me, the alcohol in my system moving me from loose and fun into worry.

He was quiet on the way back, which wasn't unusual but he seemed more contemplative, keeping one hand on the wheel but picking at his bottom lip with the other. I was practically biting my tongue to keep from pressing him, unable to hold on any longer as we walked through the door of his apartment.

"So that's it for us?" I questioned.

"No, that's not it for us." He laughed, shaking his head. "They just want to have a meeting. I don't even know what they'll offer yet but it'll take some time to work all of that out anyway."

My head was spinning, where I initially thought I was sobering, a second wave of drunkenness hit me. "But you'll have to move to LA at some point, because that's where you need to be to make music right?"

"Yes, but we've got time, Seline." He tried to assure me as I headed toward the living room, kicking off my shoes without a care for where they fell.

"So we are on a countdown." I replied, my lips smacking as I thought of the entire soulmate prophecy. "We've always been on a countdown."

We sat on the couch across from each other and I scooted so that I was nearly on his lap, needing to be close to him. He smirked as he pushed a few pieces of hair behind my ears, amused. "What are you talking about?" He kissed my cheek, the couch melting away beneath us.

"Nothing, I just need you to kiss me more. You don't kiss me enough." I complained, hasty as I pressed my lips to his. I smiled into the kiss as the emptiness of everything took over, whining when he pulled away.

"Believe me, I could kiss you forever, but I would never get anything done." He pulled me so that I sat on him, keeping his lips just by my cheek in the spot that knew him the most.

I was rambling, touching the hair that hung over his forehead, the high bone of his cheeks, and the curve of his jawline as I spoke. "I need it anyway. Don't you get it? We're on a countdown so we won't have this forever. Maybe I'll have another feeling like this but I love this feeling so much, so so much." I sealed my lips over his again and he let me fulfill my craving for the connection that I silently wished would live in me for a lifetime.
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Author's Note: For my folks who want to know stuff like this, I imagine the last song that Evi and Yoongi perform as "I Gotta Find Peace of Mind" by Lauryn Hill. Of course, if that's not your vibe feel free to imagine whatever song feels right for you. Hope you enjoy the chapter!