Lifetime

Admission

Author's Note: For the folks who are interested in this sort of thing, hate to be lame by Lizzy McAlpine was the song that inspired some of this chapter.

We stopped for churros at a cart down the street from our apartment, Jackson and I finding a seat on a park bench while Faye and Lee headed back up to our apartment. I kept a little space between us, focusing on the chocolatey, sugary treat in front of me.

"So that guy, Yoongi, is the one you have a thing with?" He asked after he'd finished scarfing down his food, tossing the container into the trash can next to him.

"That obvious?" I chose humor over an immediate apology, trying to gauge his reaction first.

He chuckled. "I think anyone could feel the tension between you two." He replied, picking up on the pang of guilt I felt for accepting a date with him despite having feelings for someone else. "It's okay Sel. You and Faye both made it clear that this is just a friend thing. Lee's my best friend and Faye is yours so it's good to be able to all go out together so we don't have to be the third wheel all the time. I'm just glad you didn't leave me hanging on the kiss cam tonight." I appreciated his lightheartedness, part of me thinking that if the soulmate connection didn't exist to compare him to, it'd be easy to be with him.

"Maybe I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sure the girls would be flocking with sympathy for the hottie who didn't get kissed." I laughed, Jackson joining in with me.

"You're right, I could have an entire gaggle of women lined up for me like the bachelor if you would have just let me be rejected." He bumped my shoulder.

We made plans to meet for coffee over the next couple of weeks and I sent Faye a quick text, letting her know that I was heading straight to Yoongi's after watching Jackson pull away in his car.

Twenty minutes later I stood outside his door, picking my fist up but putting it back down as I debated knocking. I worried that he would kiss me again and that my need for him would grow without his intention to nurture it, and I feared that he wouldn't, knowing that if he didn't I would wither.

When I held up my hand to knock again the door swung open, Yoongi and I flinching as we abruptly came face to face. "Seline." He breathed, lowering his hands from where he'd been fidgeting with his keys. "I was just coming to see you." He confessed, stepping back and holding the door open for me.

I took my shoes off, letting myself sink into the comfort of being in his apartment as we sat across from each other on the couch.

"I shouldn't have kissed you." He started. I scoffed, rolling my eyes and attempted to stand, needing to get out of there. He grabbed my hand, pulling me back down so that I sat. "Will you let me finish?"

My hands reached up to cover my face, rubbing at my temples in exasperation. "Yoongi, don't make me sit here if you're just going to say something that'll hurt me."

He took hold of my hands, looking down at them before meeting my eye again. "I shouldn't have kissed you then, but I couldn't not kiss you. When I told you we couldn't be more because the feeling was consuming I meant it. I thought not kissing you would make that go away but it didn't." He explained.

My heart pounded as he spoke, rushing me toward some sort of answers. "So where does that leave us?" I questioned, leaning back on my palms, preparing for the worst.

"I haven't stopped thinking about you or writing about you all week." He continued, putting a hand on my waist to pull me closer to him.

"And?" I looked down at his lips, our faces just a brush away from each other.

His mouth curved into a smile with his answer. "And you consume me." My head tilted to the side as he leaned forward, the first time he kissed me with a passion that he'd never used before, his tongue slipping past my lips as he closed his mouth over mine. An eternity passed in the void where we were the only thing in existence, soaring with his touch.

We had another night of the deepest slumber in each other's arms and I woke to the sound of a phone buzzing, penetrating the blank space we lingered in and bringing me to.

Yoongi groaned next to me, his eyes barely open as he rolled over to answer his phone. He was mostly quiet, only giving one statement before ending the call. "Thanks man, I'll see you Saturday." He turned back over, slipping his arms back around my waist. "That could have been a text." He grumbled against my neck, the little kisses he pressed to my skin making the furniture disappear and reappear piece by piece.

"Last night you said you've been writing music about me." I remembered, caught up in recalling the way he kissed me, and every word he uttered before.

He gave an affirming mutter, sitting up as I giggled at his resistance to waking fully. "Come to one of my artist's shows next weekend and you'll hear some of it." He maintained an aura of mystery. I smacked my lips at him and he responded with a chuckle.

We remained cuddled into one another until he decided to make breakfast, insisting that I stay in bed so that we could spend the day there. He brought fruit and toast with eggs, setting a platter between us and putting on House of Balloons to play through the apartment while we enjoyed each other.

He was serious about staying in bed, immediately moving from breakfast into snuggling up against me until I'd fallen asleep again. When I woke for the second time he sat cross-legged, facing me and focused on scribbling in the small black notebook on his lap.

"What are you writing?" I sat up on my elbows, smiling as he peered at me through the messy hair that hung over his eyes.

"It's lame." He closed the notebook, tossing it onto the floor next to the bed.

The bashful way he smiled made me curious. "Is it about me?" I asked, flushing when he moved to lean over me. "What does it say?" I pressed, trying to convince him to tell me through the pleading look in my eye.

"Stuff I don't understand, that's hard for me to admit." He sighed, nibbling at his bottom lip in the way he always did when he was nervous.

I reached up, my thumb tugging at his lip until he released it. "You can tell me."

"I don't get how it happened so fast. I've never felt like this but then I see you at my show and—" He cut himself off, staring at me in a way that felt like he could see every part of me. Though I was pretty sure I knew the thing that was hard for him to say, I needed him to, waiting for the words that seemed to be on the tip of his tongue. "And I was in love."