Lifetime

Proposition

Knowing that Namjoon had an inclination that he was my fourth soulmate, and with neither of us able to do anything about it, I threw myself back into the things that acted as my usual distractions.

As November rolled around my usual excitement for the month was overshadowed by the disconnection between Hobi and I, well beyond the physical distance. I honestly wasn't sure where he was in the world or if he'd even remember. It was hard to keep up with one another since he moved so often and we were always in different time zones.

I piled onto the couch with my favorite chips, gummies, chocolate, and a giant fountain soda for the afternoon. It was a tradition I could never skip, even if we weren't quite on the same page. Before I could finish loading the DVD with the first horror movie I picked out for the day, my phone buzzed loudly from the coffee table. I let the previews play while I moved back to the couch, stretching out to answer Hobi's call.

"Happy friendaversary." He groggy from sleep, his greeting throaty and dry.

The smile on my lips was an automatic response to hearing his voice. "Happy friendaversary. Where are you?" I asked my typical first question on the occasions that we reached out to one another.

"Singapore for a while. I'm heading the choreo for a new group that'll be debuting soon. His voice cleared up and I listened to him rumble around, the crunch of bags of snacks opening in the background. "What are we watching first?"

"I wanted a two for one so Freddy vs. Jason." I tugged open my own bags, my spread of food at the ready.

He was quiet for a minute as he moved around and I waited patiently for him. "Okay, just give me like five minutes. I want to get some popcorn and I need to pull the movie up. Tell me how you've been."

I held the phone between my shoulder and ear, talking through the chewiness of gummies. "I've been good. School and work have kept me busy. I've been picking up some shifts doing bottle service with Faye too. It's not very interesting compared to you, Mr. Worldwide." I laughed.

"How are things with number four?" He asked, the beeping in the background telling me that his popcorn was done.

"I thought you said you didn't want to know about any of them." I reminded him of a conversation we'd been through many times. He always held that it hurt too much to hear about the deep infatuation I felt for my other soulmates, that it was an unbearable challenge to compartmentalize his feelings after we'd moved beyond a platonic friendship. When he didn't reply, I gave him a small bite of information. "It doesn't matter. We're not together."

He usually thought through his replies more, but now he was quick, reacting instinctually with his question. "Why?"

"He's kind of engaged." I half muttered.

"Engaged?" I pulled the phone away from my ear at his response, his voice coming through the speaker too loudly.

I sighed with my answer. "Yes."

He paused, letting me know that he was back to his way of thinking through every thought before speaking it. "So you're just not together then? Isn't the entire point of this that you can't resist the feelings?" There was a frustration in his tone that I didn't quite understand.

"I've resisted them so far but I honestly have no idea how any of this works. What's bothering you, Hobe?" I questioned, watching as the menu on the TV timed out, my eyes following the logo that bounced back and forth in waiting.

"I don't know, Sel. I just thought that it was the entire reason we can't be together. If you can just resist it I'll–" He started to explain.

My irritation wasn't with him, I loved him. It was with the entire situation, with the prophecy. "You'll what? Come back so we can be together? Just leave behind everything you've worked for so what? So that you can be miserable while I work my ass off to resist feelings I have for other men?" It only took a second of thinking of it for tears to pool in my eyes. I pinched at the bridge of my nose, trying to will them back into the ducts.

"I'm sorry, I'm ruining our friendaversary. Can we watch the movie?" He breathed.

I wiped my eyes, sitting back and hitting play, but unable to take my mind off the guilt I felt for our inability to succumb to our feelings and leave the rest behind.

We made it through four movies before I heard a heavy breathing through the line that told me he'd fallen asleep. Faye returned from work in the evening, scoffing that I'd eaten every snack and catching the end of Candyman, letting me know that she'd be sleeping with me for the night after the few minutes she watched.

With the end of my first semester in sight, I was buried in papers and study materials, keeping a constant dull headache from looking at screens all day. We turned in our final papers for Mr. Kim's class at the end of November, set to receive our grades during his last class the following week.

Students chatted about their plans to return home for the holiday while we waited for him. He carried the stack of papers in the crook of his arm, peering over his glasses as he addressed the class. "I enjoyed reading all of your final papers and hope everyone has a good holiday break. If you're signed up for my World Culture: Romanticism to Modern course next semester I look forward to seeing you then." He nodded, starting to call out names from the top of the pile.

I could sense that he was saving my paper for last as I watched the number of students dwindle around me. When the room was empty and I noticed that there weren't any more papers left in his hand I stood, walking down the steps to meet him in front of his desk.

"I'd like to talk to you about your paper in my office if you have a few minutes." He proposed.

He took long strides that made it easy for me to linger slightly behind him as we walked down the hallway that stemmed from the back exit of the classroom, lined with the offices of other professors. He greeted people by name as we passed them, leading us to an office at the end of the hall.

It was small, with just enough space for a desk and bookshelf, a single chair sitting across from the table. He had to turn sideways to get behind the desk, gesturing for me to take a seat.

He plucked what I quickly recognized as my final paper from a folder, setting it down in front of me. "You're an incredible writer. I didn't have any notes." He started.

I wondered what we were doing, in his office with the door closed and the thrum in my chest heavier than ever.

"Thank you." I replied. "Is there something else?"

"There is, do you have plans over the break?." He leaned his hands onto the desk, making it more difficult to focus my attention on his words and away from the pull of his sweater against his chest and shoulders.

I shook my head, unable to read the intention of his inquiry. "My dad's coming here for a couple of days during Christmas. He wants to spend it in the city."

He was direct and professional with his proposition. "For my dissertation, I need to conduct some historical research on a piece of lore I'm interested in. I'm looking for someone to help me with the research. I have some grant money I'm planning to use to travel to Texas during the first week of January." He leaned forward a little as he said it, helping me understand his request that I accompany him on the trip. "I've been doing some digging and I found a woman, a descendant of Elvira." He presented.

"Of Elvira, like the Elvira who created the soulmate gift?" My eyes widened.

I could see that he was proud of himself, his mouth curved into a pleased grin as he nodded, his question the start of our falsely academic scheme, one that I couldn't decline. "So you'll join me?"