Lifetime

Bad Jokes

I could tell that Seokjin sought me out, even if it was unconscious, noticing the small grin on his lips and light in his eyes whenever he said something funny enough to break past the barrier I kept up. Even if it was only a small giggle I could feel him looking at me like he won a game against a friend. He memorized my favorite snacks too, passing them down the line with my dad's every Tuesday for the next few weeks until their first cycle of treatment neared its end.

It was the coldest Christmas I ever experienced and honestly the worst since the Christmas after we lost my mom. My dad had everything planned starting at the top of the week, from the small bags of treats he'd packaged for every nurse and patient in the center we knew to the matching sweaters he insisted we wear during his last appointment. Seokjin's boisterous laugh sounded when he looked up from his usual recliner, joking that he had been left out of the bunch though he wore his own patterned jumper, cool tones that were the opposite of the bright colors my dad chose.

My dad planned to join Seokjin for the last appointment of his first cycle the following day while I looked forward to munching on popcorn and sipping hot chocolate while wrapping the last couple of presents left in my closet. His illness had other plans, treatment leaving him drained of any energy when I went in to check on him after my second alarm. He muttered through tired eyes as I coaxed him into taking his morning medication, a deep line in his brow that showed his frustration.

"Go sit with Jin for me." He paused to take a sip of water, aiding with the slight crack in his voice. "He should have someone there."

"I'm not leaving you here when you don't feel well." I protested, pulling the blanket to his neck as he snuggled back into the thin pillow he slept on.

He shook his head, eyes heavier with every moment that passed. "I'm just tired today. I'll probably sleep the entire time." He spoke through a yawn. "Go in my place."

"Dad." I challenged him in the same way I did when I was younger.

"Seline." He fired back, a small smile on my lips at the response he usually gave, now absent of as much authority.

I sighed, leaning over the bed to press a kiss to his forehead. "Promise you'll call if you wake up or get sick." I negotiated, watching as he nodded, only a second away from the start of a light snore.

The bag I always carried to their treatment sessions hung on a hook by the door, already equipped with a couple of spare snacks, the book I'd been reading, and every other random item usually reserved for my purse. I dressed in two layers of pants and my favorite sweatshirt before suiting up with the thick coat, hat, and gloves I'd become accustomed to wearing over the past month for the walk to the clinic.

I stomped as much snow off my boots as I could before entering the building, handing over my bag to be checked and giving a short greeting to a security officer I wasn't familiar with since I didn't typically visit on Wednesday's.

Upstairs Julia showed the faintest hint of surprise when she passed me on the way to attending to a patient, quickly flashing a smile and raising her eyebrows with wonder.

The curtain around the row of chairs we occupied two days every week was open, the typically lively corner quiet as Seokjin craned his neck up toward the TV.

He was entranced with the competition dating show on the screen, leaning forward in his seat until the swishing of my coat alerted him to my presence.

"Hi." He waved, watching me pluck off my gloves and hat with a question I was already answering etched on his face.

"He was feeling tired and asked me to come instead." I clarified, responding to his expectant gaze. "Hi."

I was conscious of the way he watched me as I plopped into the recliner that would surely be left with an impression of my butt at the end of this, combing through the stray pieces of hair that fell over my eyes and weren't quite secured by my loose ponytail.