Lifetime

Not Enough

There were a couple of errands to run before heading to Seokjin's treatment session. I stopped into the bookstore for a quick exchange of the one I'd finished reading and picked up refills to my dad's medication. Even the slightest change in weather made a difference, less of a bite in the cold air so that I didn't have to walk through the city as padded as the Michelin mascot.

I grabbed coffee and two blueberry muffins from the cafe next to the clinic. It was convenient but usually had a fifty percent chance of being stale, and I counted myself lucky that I'd come in just as they were putting out fresh goods.

My hands were full as I entered the clinic, balancing bags hanging from the crook of my arm and cups held upright in my palms. I gave short greetings and nods to those I passed on the way, peeking over the edge of the open privacy curtain at the furthest corner of the room to find every recliner empty.

I heard Julia from behind me before I had a chance to question his whereabouts. A small cart of supplies squeaked along at her side for the initial set up of his port. "He's on his way back from a meeting with Dr. Powell." She rolled the small stool she sat on to work from against the wall just as Seokjin rounded the corner.

He carried a folder under his arm, his phone making a quiet whooshing sound as he sent a message. Despite seeming torn between typing and setting down his items to get started with his session, he still took a second to lean down just as I swallowed my first sip of coffee, the plastic top of my cup replaced with his lips in an easy peck.

"Sorry I'm late. Dr. Powell held me up past my start time." He spoke aloud, the apology more for Julia since he'd held her up. He went through the automatic motions of holding out an arm or tugging down the collar of the fuzzy sweater he wore.

"It's fine. I was just about to steal your breakfast from Seline." She replied jokingly, nodding toward the muffin I unwrapped.

He chuckled, his head already shaking. "It's all yours."

"Appetite still low?" She questioned, scooching away from him. She pulled a tablet from her cart, fingers tapping away as she made a note.

"Yes and everything tastes metallic, but I've been eating at least once a day." He glazed over his symptoms.

I resisted the urge to spring forward in my seat, to start a log of his meals and demand answers to the slew of questions that flowed like the introduction of a Star Wars movie in my mind.

I managed to wait until Julia left. Seokjin reached for the unwrapped muffin in my lap, taking one bite, knowing I needed the satisfaction of knowing he ate something. "What were you meeting with Dr. Powell about? Is everything okay?" I could have rambled off three more questions. Dr. Powell's role at the clinic always seemed less clinical with his duties as director of the facility. I imagined he only met with patients on special, dire cases.

Seokjin caught on to my concern, trading me the muffin for a taste of my coffee. "It wasn't about me. He wanted to meet about the money my family's been donating to the clinic." He assured me.

I hesitated to respond, unsure of the way he'd take me asking more about his family. His phone vibrated from his lap but he ignored it, continuing his explanation. "Apparently my parents have their people working to get a new wing built in my name. Dr. Powell wanted to thank me and I needed to let him know I want nothing to do with it."

When I didn't reply he leaned across the small gap between our chairs, so close that it was impossible not to glance at or be tempted by his lips.

"You can ask me anything." He was the one unable to withstand the proximity, closing the space for a kiss that brought pause to our conversation. He tasted like morning, minty toothpaste barely touched by food.