The Diary's of Him and I

Part Twenty Five- The 5 Stages of Greif.

It's been a few weeks since Cedric's funeral and I've started to feel better but it's always in the back of my mind. 

Most of my days consist of talking to Narcissa, cuddling with Draco, reading in the library with Draco or by myself, and talking to the stars. Then it all repeats. Everyday. 

I hadn't had a problem with Lucius since I've been here so far. In fact, I haven't seen him much at all. 

Narcissa called us down for lunch while Draco and I were in the library. We sat our books down and walked downstairs. I think I may have jinked myself because Lucius was already there, sitting at the head of the table. We sat down while the elves brought out the food. A word wasn't said until Lucius spoke up, "So Kaitlyn, how are you after your brother was murdered?" "Father stop!" Draco said through clenched teeth. "I'm just asking a question Draco. It really was a shame to have to be there, seeing the dead corpse laid out upon my arrival, but you know it wasn't actually the dark lord who killed him? It was Wormtail." Lucius carried a cruel smile. "Wh-what?" I stuttered. "Oh, does she not know Draco?" Lucius grinned. "Drop this now!" Draco snarled. "I can't believe you never told her? Now, who's the bad person. I was there the night your brother was killed. If Potter's pathetic parent's spirits and Cedrics spirits didn't protect Potter then we could have killed him too." 

I couldn't listen to his vile words anymore, I got up and ran outside. "Kaitlyn wait, please let me explain." Draco chased after me. "What the hell are you going to explain? How you knew your father was there when my brother was killed? How you knew for weeks but never told me?" I yelled as I continued to walk past the garden. "You can walk as far as you want but you know I'm one of the only people strong enough to get into your head so you have to listen to me," Draco said in my head, causing me to freeze. "Yes, I've known for two weeks but I didn't tell you because I knew it would only hurt you more. I was trying to protect you from anything I could. Please just understand I only did it for you, it killed me to keep it from you." He said out loud since I stopped walking away from him. I fell to my knees and just cried, every part of myself that  I've managed to put back together over these last couple of weeks was broken and torn apart all over again. Draco came up behind me and picked me up, putting me on his lap as he sat down in the grass. I wanted to run but I knew I couldn't run anymore. As much as I wanted to reject Draco's touch, I knew that he was telling the truth, and even when I hate him his touch gives me comfort. 

Draco sat comforting me in the field until an owl dropped two letters with us. My owl...

"Who is that from?" Draco asked confused. I shook my head and opened the letter.

Dear Kaitlyn Elizabeth Diggory,

We regret to inform you that your father, Amos Diggory, has passed this morning at 11:03. Another letter will arrive telling you what you need to do. 

We send our deepest condolences, Ministry of Magic.

I quickly rip open the other letter. 

Kaitlyn, 

I assume by the time you get this letter that you will already have heard the news. But I thought you would want a more detailed description of what happened. 

Your father, as you saw at the funeral, had been drinking heavily to deal with the grievance of Cedric. Well, it never stopped and got worse. He went days without eating, only filling his system with liquor. Sirus and I would visit all the time to practically force food down his throat to soak up some of the alcohol. But this morning when we went over we thought he was sleeping until we tried to wake him. After we realised, we called the Ministry and they came by and approximated his time of death.

I know you and your father weren't close but I am sorry. On your father's will, Sirius and I are both listed as your Godparents so that's up to you.

Love you dearly, Moony

"Are you serious?" I laughed irritated, "That motherfucker!" I got up and walked inside, going upstairs to Draco's room. Narcissa asked what was wrong but I was too angry to answer. Draco had read the letters at the same time as me so he stopped and told her what happened. I slammed the door shut and ran my hand through my hair. I was so mad my body shook as I grabbed one of my bags out of the closet. I started throwing clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, and everything else I could think of including one of Draco and I's pictures, the one from when he asked me to the Yule Ball, my favorite picture. I had no clue where I was going to go yet but I have to figure out what is happening with my life and that means I will be at the Ministry a lot. I don't think my father left me anything in his will if I had to guess but I have to collect the rest of my mother's things and some of Cedric's things as well. 

Draco came in worried, "Why are you packing? Where are you going?" "I'm sorry Draco but I have to go deal with all of the shit my father left me to deal with since he decided to drink himself into the grave. Sirius and Remus are both my godparents so I'll likely be between there. I'll write to you as much as possible just please don't forget how much I love you. You have done so much for me since we have been together and especially over these last few weeks, I could never repay you for that but I just need to hear you say that you know I love you." Tears rimmed my eyes not because I was upset about my father but because I didn't want to leave Draco's side. I would stay here at the manor but I don't want to pull Draco into any more of my shit than I already have. "Of course, I know that you love me and I love you. But why do you sound like you're breaking up with me?" Draco's voice cracked and his eyes reddened. "I'm not Draco I promise, I just can't pull you into any more of my problems." I rubbed his cheek. "Drag me into your problems Kaitlyn. Pull me into hell if you have to, I don't care just let me help you." Tears seeped from Draco's blue-grey eyes. It hurt me, even more, to see him cry but I couldn't put him through any more of my family issues. 

I walked out of his room and down the stairs where Narcissa stood still, "I'm so sorry I'm leaving so sudden Narcissa but I have to go deal with some things. Thank you for everything you've done for me and I know I'll see you soon." I said still walking to the door. She looked at the crying Draco that followed me then looking back at me. "I'm sorry." I whispered, walking out the door towards the gate. 

Draco ran after me and caught up to me, grabbing my hand "Wait!" He pulled me back to him and kissed me deeply, the salt tears lingering on the corner of his lip. He pulled away and looked into my eyes, tears still came from his eyes. "Will you wait for me?" I asked with a shaky voice, trying to keep from crying. "Forever. Just promise you'll come back to me when you get everything figured out." Draco cried. "I'm not actually leaving you, my love, I'll just be somewhere else while I get my family's things situated but I'll write to you all of the time." I wiped his tear and stepped back. He looked at me to answer his actual question. "I promise. I love you Draco." As a single tear fell I apparated. Leaving Draco at the Malfoy Manor gate, crying. 

I didn't know where I was going but I truly didn't care. 

Voldemort took everything from me. Cedric, my father, my best friend, his son, and now I have to leave Draco's side until I can sort through the mess that he caused. 

People always said there were 5 stages of grief and I used to think that was true but recently I've learned there was one more, 

Revenge.