Titanic- The Curse

April 14th 1912.

The day after our first night on the ship, I was awoken by Ruth, to a coffee and an orange juice. I had to get dressed, I had a breakfast rendezvous with Agatha and Clarissa. I dressed in a white dress, a shawl, I needed something warm as I was feeling and missing warmth embrace of Henry's arms. I made my way towards the restaurant, Agatha and Clarissa were sat close to the entrance, they waved me inside and looked refreshed. It seems they had been for a dip in the pool, long before I awoke. We sat around after eating a hearty breakfast, we discussed what we should do that day? Agatha suggested we take their dogs for a walk, they have been feeling a little under the weather. Clarissa and I go back to her rooms and collect the dogs, Agatha gets back into bed, she had a nightmare about the ship sinking, Clarissa told me she had the same dream before they got on the liner. I never mentioned that I too had a bad feeling about this journey, but the size of the ship gave me a false sense of security. I put my fears to the back of my mind, that said, on the promenade deck, I looked at the lifeboats, by the amount there. I knew in my heart that there wasn't enough for all onboard, the captain told us at dinner that there was over three thousand people onboard.

The two dogs did their business on the deck, a member of staff cleaned it up and dumped their droppings in the sea. We walked the dogs back to Clarissa's rooms and I told her I'm sending Henry a telegram, if she has any messages for anyone, that I'll happily do it for her. Clarissa informed me that she and her mother had wrote their telegrams that morning, their families would be receiving them soon. I realised that very moment Henry may never see me again, the fact two mere strangers had almost identical dreams and I have had bad feelings about this ship since I heard about my mother. It was almost lunchtime, Ruth was looking for me. Ruth had my luncheon outfit ready, she had a bath ready and helped me wash, she did my hair and I looked like a millionaire. I had all these old men looking at me like, like they wanted to take me for themselves, but I was spoken for, I was to be Mrs Gold come fall. I really could've married anyone of those old men on that ship, I would've been set for life but my heart was elsewhere. Clarissa on the other hand had her eyes on an elderly gentleman, he from what I heard was one of the richest men in the world, she had sent a note with his chalet to meet her, she was just waiting on word that he would. I thought to myself, this should be fun to watch. I walked into the restaurant, Clarissa and her mother was talking to the man in question, since her father had died, the old man had to seek permission from her mother to talk to her. Agatha agreed as long as she could pick the chaperone. Mr Strauss agreed to the terms. Agatha was old money, she lived in London until the death of her husband, a man that gambled away their vast fortune. When he died, Agatha and Clarissa booked the first trip they could back to America as that's where her own family fortune was.

It was soon just Agatha and i dining alone, Clarissa was spending her time with Mr Strauss. Agatha complained about his age, but I told her that Mr Strauss has already one foot in the grave, the sooner they marry, they sooner she will become an heiress to his fortune. Agatha smiled, "I never thought of it like that." Agatha asked me why Henry didn't join me on this trip? I explained he couldn't, his father needed him to help sell the remaining mills, but the whole family will be joining me soon. Agatha reminded me of my own mother, although not as beautiful as my mother, she had her charm, her sense of humour and her respect and trust for me. As Clarissa and Mr Strauss became more acquainted, I seen less of her, even Agatha, they began spending their time as a trio. I left them alone after that, it soon became obvious that things had progressed quite quickly with Mr Strauss, he had a spring in his step that wasn't there before. I started to spend time with Ruth, I told her of what my dream was before getting on the ship, I begged her not to think me silly, I softened it by telling her that Agatha and Clarissa had the same. Ruth then had a strange look on her face, she told me she had the same fears and the ships size gives you a false sense of security. We decided to take the rest of our meals in our rooms. One evening we had just finished our three course dinner, we were watching the stars, the clear water from our private promenade deck, when we felt this almighty shudder. The chandeliers above us shook, our glasses rattled and some wall fixtures fell off the walls. We dressed in warm clothes and made our way up to the main deck, we watched as childish men kick around large portions of ice.

I found a member of staff and asked him what had happened, he assured us that we had likely blown a propeller, to go back to our rooms and not to worry. Ruth and I did worry, I had already told her about the lifeboats, I had told Agatha and Clarissa too. We did go back to our rooms for around fifteen minutes, we put life jackets under our fur coats, placed our valuables in our underwear and walked back towards the lifeboat deck. We could see the boat listing by the bow into the water, they were only beginning to lower the lifeboats. I watched for Clarissa and Agatha come to the deck, they didn't appear, I decided to go look for them. I knocked on their door and I hear, "we're busy come back later." I opened the door, just enough to shout in that the boat was sinking. Agatha must've shot up from where she was, she comes to the door and says, "Josie, is this the truth? I felt a shudder and I was told to come here and wait." I told her to get Clarissa to get to the lifeboats as there isn't enough for everyone onboard. Agatha tells me Clarissa is with Mr Strauss, she will be fine. Agatha and her maids made their way with me towards the promenade deck. We peeled our eyes around looking for Clarissa and Mr Strauss, they were nowhere to be found. Agatha was worried, I told her I'll go look for her. I know from my private conversations with Clarissa, that she would encourage Mr Strauss help the third class passengers. I feel that she and Mr Strauss will be below deck. I had Ruth come with me, we searched everywhere for them, we asked our table service lady did she happen to see Clarissa and Mr Strauss? The lady told us she had watched them take the elevator down to the lower decks. The elevator wasn't working by the time we got there, but we soon found another way, we found gates locked at the lower decks, I took out a hair fastener, I flattened it, I picked the lock and opened the gates, suddenly hundreds of people ran forth. Mr Strauss nor Clarissa never came forward. I had to run with Ruth back up to the boat deck to try and get a boat. Agatha spotted me and she shouted, "Clarissa and Mr Strauss are on the other boats, get on a boat before they're swamped." Ruth and I were ushered into a boat by a member of staff and it was lowered into the water. Damn, the night was a cold one. I couldn't help think about all the people that weren't going to make it.