Flames of a lie

Chapter 59

****Sorry for a late update guys so here is the double update****

"Because you are mine. Only mine"

My heart started beating so fast as he said those words full of possessiveness looking straight into my eyes. His cold grey eyes were trying to pine those words in my brain. I glided my tongue on my lower lips and dropped my eyes as I don't know how to respond to him when he uses such words against me. My chest tightened against the chest band as all the emotions flooded my heart. My body went still in his told as I had stopped fighting against his grip on me. At this moment my brain was clogged with so many thoughts. 

Why is he saying I'm his? 

Is he interested in me for real or it's just his way of experimenting with new things as he does with his recipes? 

How can he be instructed in me? 

I'm disguised as a man. So it means he likes men and not women or he likes both. What will he do to me when he comes to know I'm a woman under a man's clothes. I have been stopping myself from asking all these questions for a long time but it's high time now. I can't stop questioning myself over his and my feelings for each other. He has been so indifferent towards me from the moment we first met. He won't be happy if he comes to know I'm not the man he is interested in. He will feel betrayed and deceived. It will only increase more obstacles for me and I don't want to complicate my life more. All the people keep telling me he doesn't like lies. Even he keeps warning me that he doesn't tolerate lies. 

Accepting his feelings will only make things hard for me and him. My life will be more miserable than it is. This is not why I have come here. My goals, my motives are different, and if I get tangled in making relationships here what will happen to the promises I made to my family who have their expectations of me. I can't let everything go in a puddle. I have to bear a few more months here before I will be free from everything. From this place which I have come to love so much. People who work here are like a second family to me. And him. I lifted my eyes and looked at him. 

Even if I deny it, I can't stop feeling the pull between us. He is the one who has made me feel so many things for the first time in my life. I never thought I was capable of feeling like this and I don't think I will be able to feel the same emotions for any other person if it's not him. He is my first unexpectedly. Even if I don't accept it, I have started to care for him. If things go wrong and he discovers my disguise he will be hurt the most and I won't be able to see it. He won't take things lightly as everyone else. I want to be selfish and accept him but I know in the end I have to face all the blame and the outcome of my actions. So I should push him away now. It's the best decision for both of us. I exhaled from my nose as I gathered my courage to fight with him. I didn't know how far I would be successful in pushing him away but I have tried it for the betterment of him and mine. 

"I'm not yours never will be, didn't I clear this to you before," I said looking straight into his cold grey eyes. I tried to maintain the acid in my voice as I said those words. 

"Don't argue with me, tiny?" he said in his calm yet at the same time threatening voice as our breath mixed. My emotions were all over the place but I controlled them. 

"I will! How can I be yours? I'm not the thing for you to put claims on me. I think you have failed to see the difference. And besides, I have a very loving girlfriend. I don't need you" I said in my mad voice as he was not ready to back down. His jaw clenched and unclenched when I mentioned Sophia. 

"No, I haven't. I know she is not your girlfriend, Erick told me she is your best friend when I pulled his strings'' he mocked with a smirk on his lips making me gasp that backstabber. Why did he tell him that? 

"But my dear cousin seems to care about you more than needed and I don't like it so it's decided you will not stay with him anymore," he said mockingly stating to me as his decision was final. He made his grip on my arm which he was holding behind my back and his other hand in behind my hair strong as I tried to wiggle out of his hold. I won't accept it. I bit my lower lip in agony as he was deciding things for me when he was not even ready to accept the thing we have in between. 

"Mr Xanthus Villin I don't do things to please you. Erick is my friend. That's why he cares for me. He has a right to do it because I gave that right to him but I don't remember giving you the right to make decisions for me just because you don't like anything. We don't have any relation between us rather than a boss or employee" I said madly my eyes glared at him as I spat venom in my words. Listening to my venomous words he growled. 

"We do have a relationship more than a boss and employee," he said aggressively as he moved my face more towards him if it was even possible. Our noses were smashing with each other as I felt him taking controlling deep breaths. He was trying to control his anger as I kept denying everything he had to say to me. 

"Ok! then answer me what relation we have in between us. Are you ready to accept it in front of this world?" I asked in my calm stern voice as I too wanted to know what he was having in his mind if he was ready to fight for it. It was my final blow. He has never in public talked more than two words with me unless he has opened his mouth to scold me. Listening to my question he went quiet as I had expected. I knew he wouldn't have the answer to this. I could see the hesitation in his eyes for accepting whatever we had in between. That look in his eyes hurt me. All this facade of I'm only his is for namesake. He only wants to claim me when no one is around. 

I'm not his plaything. 

"It seems like you have finally realised that we both are men and you can't name what we have between us in front of the world. Stop saying meaningless things to me if you are not ready to accept it," I said with dry humourless laughter. My eyes sting as I see his hesitation in his grey eyes. His jaw clenched when I said that. 

"Let me go," I said as I wiggled my hands from his hold and he let me go. His face held all the distressed expression as he looked at me with his tormented grey eyes. I walked out of his hold while closing my eyes and swallowing the big lump which formed in my throat. I turned around and walked towards the door with my weak legs. I don't want to get shattered in front of his eyes. I don't want him to know his silence and his hesitation was affecting me more than I expected. 

"Just stay away from me," I said in my firm voice when I took the hold of the doorknob without turning back to see his tormented face. I know I was being hard on both of us but it's the best way to save us from what will happen in the future. As soon as I walked out of his office tears fell freely from my eyes. I wiped it from the back of my hands as more fresh warm tears slid from the corner of my eyes. I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong but I kept telling or rather fooling myself in my mind to lessen the hurt I felt. Things stay like this in between us. 

It's for the betterment of both of us. 

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A/N
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