Flames of a lie

Chapter 70

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I have been trying my best to tell him the truth but whenever I open my mouth nothing comes out of it than air. Every damn time I gathered my courage to tell him the truth. But all my courage poofed out of me as soon as my anxious eyes met with his grey ones. The way he looked at me with his full attention made me a coward back. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. That I have been deceiving him from day one. The person he has feelings for is not a man but a woman. I pulled my hair in frustration as I kept standing at the closed doors of the restaurant. In the past, I was always excited to come to work. Even if he gave me so much work and tortured I was still happy to come to work every single day. 

But today I didn't want to go in because if I do I have to see him and when I see him all the guilt I feel surfs up. I had stayed quiet for the whole five months but now I can't. I planned to never tell anyone about my disguise but one by one many people came to know about it. I had planned to not make a relationship with anyone but I made friends and then fell in love too.  Things have already gone out of plan. I took one deep breath to calm myself. Today I'm going to tell him everything. I don't know how but I'm going to tell him until this day ends. I don't know if he will still accept me after this. Many dark thoughts came to my mind but I shook them away. I won't think of the consequences now or else I would change my mind again. Breathing in and out I walked inside the restaurant. My chest band tightened on my breast as I felt more anxiety building up in me. The tightness made breathing a little hard for me. On my way, I met with William, James, and Logan. 

"Good morning," I said as I got on the elevator with them. 

"Good morning," they all said together with a smile on their face. When we reached our floor I took hold of William and Logan's hand. 

"Guys I need to talk about something important with you" I whispered in my serious voice which made them look at me with furrowed confused eyes. They gave me a small nod saying yes. Once we reached the kitchen I waited until James went to take something out of the pantry. Once he walked out of the kitchen I called them. Three of us stood at the corner out of people's earshot. 

"What do you want to talk about," Logan asked, looking at me anxiously. I bit my lower lip while tip-toeing over their shoulder if someone was listening to us but there was no one there except us. When I was sure I looked back at them with an uneasy face. 

"What's wrong," William asked in his voice as his eyes moved all over my face while wrapping his arms around his chest. I moved my eyes all over their faces deciding if I should or not tell them. I don't know if they will support me but I have to tell them. They are my friends and they have been with me even after knowing my truth. I sighed deeply before opening my mouth. 

"I'm going to tell him the truth," I said in my hushed yet firm voice while looking into their eyes. Listening to my words their eyes widened in fright. 

"What!" William said with the same expression of fright on his face. 

"Are you going insane? You know you can't do that now" Logan said while taking hold of my shoulders making me look at his serious face. "Remember you still have to pay the debt and you can afford to take such a big risk. Now at this point," he said in his same serious voice as he moved me a bit to bring me back to my senses. 

"What if the head chef kicks you out, what will you do?'' William asked after being quiet for some time. The fright he felt for me was glinting in his eyes. My eyes teared up as I thought about him kicking me out but I can't let my fear stop me from deceiving more.