Flames of a lie

Chapter 60

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Him 

"Just stay away from me," he said in his firm voice without turning back as he stood in front of a closed-door for a split second. I kept looking at him with my stern eyes as he walked out of my arms. My jaw clenched, even more, when his petite figure completely vanished in front of my eyes. I clenched and unclenched my jaw as I tried to control my anger. I lifted my hand and pulled my hair back words as I tried to calm the raging feelings inside me but how hard I tried his questions kept repeating in my head. 

"How the hell does he expect me to stay away from him?" I growled in anger while turning back. I pushed all the things down from my working desk. I grabbed the corner of the desk as I tried to control my anger. I took deep breaths to control it. I know if I let my anger out everything will be destroyed in this place. With closed eyes and deep breaths, I tried to control myself but his questions kept on repeating in my head. 

"Fuck!" I cursed as I felt the urge to follow him to show him that he only belongs to me. I have many ways in my mind to show him that he belongs to only me. I will fill his body with my marks so whenever he looks at himself in the mirror he knows who he belongs. 

"He thinks it's easy for me to just go on saying a man that he is mine," I yelled in frustration as I pushed myself away from the desk and kicked the chair making it fall to the ground. He wants me to say in front of everyone that he is mine. 

Why can't he see? This is my first time too. I walked behind my desk and slumped on my chair. I rested my head back as I kept looking at the ceiling. Why can't he see the torture I'm feeling seeing him with other guys? It's not easy for me either. I have never been attracted to same-sex people before. I have never felt attracted to any man in my life before. Why can't he see he is making me go crazy for him? I have been trying to suppress this feeling for a long time but I can't anymore. I can't name this feeling the agitation I feel when I see him with other men or women and I can't even keep denying that I want him. I can't keep on denying what I feel for him. This is new for me and I'm trying to make things right between us. But he doesn't want me. He has been denying my nearness to my touch from the very starting. He has always chosen to run away from me but has always accepted and enjoyed the company of the men who work in the kitchen. And that's what pisses me off more. He wants to stay away from me and stubbornly keeps on denying that we don't have more things in between us than a boss and employee relationship. Then it's fine with me. He wants me to stay away from him then I will stay away from him. I too want to see how long he will keep denying his feelings. 

But I won't make things easy for him. I promised myself as I stood up from my chair and walked out of my messed-up office. I walked towards the kitchen and when I stepped in my blood boiled like anything. William was standing in front of tiny. His hand was cupping his red cheek as he said something to him which made a small smile form on his lips. I felt something in my chest as I saw their proximity. They were so lost in each other that they didn't notice me standing in front of the door. I took a deep breath and walked inside the kitchen controlling my anger as I fisted my fist to not punch William to move his hands away from him. When the tiny saw me he immediately moved away from William's touch and brought a small smirk to the corner of my lips. His small action showed even if he denied it I affect him more than he thinks. Everyone started to walk into the kitchen one by one as the break was over. I tried to divert my attention to cooking but my eyes kept on travelling to him as he was doing small chores because of his injured hand. He didn't even let me apply ointment on it but let William do it. I grabbed the handle of the pan more tightly as I remembered the scene of that day.