State house head cannons and one shot request are closed

Pretzelvania

POV New York and New Mexico are in Pennsylvania at a grocery store and they're in the chip aisle and they see all a whole row of a whole aisle full of pretzels in New York is just wowed.

New York: look at all these pretzels at home there's literally just chips and then like two kinds of pretzels.[Starts grabbing the pretzels]
New Mexico: look they have broken pretzels

New York: why would I buy broken pretzels because they're just pretzels that someone else broke i'm not paying full price for that

New Mexico: Pennsylvania more like pretzelvania

New York: good one
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New York: Why do I color code things? I have seven children who were all raised as only children before I got them. If I don't keep multiples of everything and color code them so thoroughly it's immediately obvious with a single glance what belongs to who, they start trying to kill each other.

New York: I'm so tired.

———-

After St. Patrick's Day

New York :* hung over as fuck* fuck what happened last night

Utah: you were flirting with Georgia and then you started taking off your trenchcoat and then he started getting excited about your ass.

New York: 👁👄👁

New York: wait I flirted?

Arizona: yes you were flirting

New York: was it good?

Utah: NO It was the worst I've ever

New York: did Geo like it?

Utah: yes he did he was blushing though

New York: Ok did I do anything else it's stupid

Air: you were purring like a cat

New York: fuck I'm never getting that drunk again keep me away from Irish whiskey.

Utah: yes that is the thing we have to do

Utah : when I found you guys in the living room you guys passed out and you had your jacket off of you and you guys were on a top of each other.

Utah: so I just made sure airy and NM went to bed.

Geo: so you left us on the living room floor.

——-

(based off of something that happened on Tumblr last night)
Vermont * wakes up a little hung over* he told me to go ask my mom
Vermont: and then when I told him that mom was dead.
Vermont: all he can say was oh yea
Coco: that's kind of fucked up
Vermont: Ya think.
Vermont: I knew he was drunk but I didn't know he was that drunk!

—————-

Mass: You need to lie still. You've lost a lot of blood.

Florida: I didn't lose it. I know exactly where it is *Points to puddle of blood*

————-

New York: Oh no, you don't want to befriend me. I'm a handful.

Cali excitedly: I have two hands!

——

Younger Connie: My sisters-in-law are pregnant! Man, I can't wait to see if I'm gonna be an Aunt or an Uncle!

YoungerNew York & Mass:That's... Not how that works.

——

New York: I don't have a "murderer face", do I? No one has ever said that to me before...

NM/: Yeah, because they didn't want to be murdered

If you seen my Tumblr and you know what happened last night I'm sorry once again yeah I don't know how to flirt so if it came a little bit sexual I was not trying to do that also can we make it canon that Georgia has a thing for ass and New York can only flirt when he's drunk but it's terrible.

BB