New Beginning - A Bucky Barnes Story

Chapter 34 - The Break

Adriana stared at him with regret on her face. She was greatly conflicted. He could feel it.

"Adriana, all the things I did, I had no control over them. I wish I could stop them. But I couldn't. Those times I did a mission, a part of me was always there, screaming at me to stop. But I couldn't. It felt someone else was in me. Doing those missions.. killing those people. Please understand that." Bucky pleaded.

After what felt like forever she finally said.

"I'm sorry Bucky. I.. I need sometime to process things. A lot has happened in the past couple of days. I need sometime alone." She wrapped herself in her arms, trying to control her emotions.

"Of course. I understand." Bucky took a step forward towards Adriana, intending to give her a hug but she stepped back.

"Please don't. I don't think I'll be able to let you go if you come any closer." Her voice shook.

"Well then don't.. don't let me go Adriana. We're so good together." Bucky pleaded.

"But you..you killed my dad Bucky. You have no idea how that affected me..and my family. I mean..what would my mom think if she knows I'm dating the man responsible for her husband's death?!" She stated.

Bucky sighed. He didn't expect listening to her stating the facts would hurt him so much. He also didn't think about other people who might be affected by him and Adriana being together. He had been selfish. Wanting to be happy with Adriana without thinking about other people. He won't be selfish anymore, he decided. If he really loved her he would let her make the decision herself. Whatever her decision would be, he would just have to accept it. He loved her and that was the best thing he could do to prove his love to her.

"You're right. I didn't think of how it would affect your mom or other people. If you want us to be over then.. okay." Bucky said calmly. His voice might have sounded calm and collected but his heart and brain were in turmoil. A part of him didn't want to end things with Adriana, yet another part said he should let her go.

Adriana's eyes went wide listening to Bucky say it.

"You're sure about that Bucky? You think we should end it?" Adriana asked carefully, taking a step closer to him. Her eyes searched his. Not believing her ears.

"If that's what you want." Bucky said dejectedly.

"I..oh God, why does this have to be so hard." Tears started streaming down Adriana's eyes.

Bucky took a step forward and hugged her, so tight, letting her cry on his chest.

"Sshhh.. it's okay Adriana. We'll sort things out." He rubbed her back trying to soothe her. His heart broke seeing her cry like that. He wished he could erase what he did or bring her father back to life. But there was nothing he could do.

Adriana slowly stopped crying. She pulled herself away from Bucky, wiped tears from her eyes and looked at Bucky, a decision formed in her head.

"Bucky. I need sometime okay? Let's just..I don't know..maybe stay away from each other a bit..take a break maybe.." Adriana said.

"A break?" Bucky asked.

"Yes Bucky. Let's not see each other for..I don't know..however long it takes for me..for us..to come to a decision." Adriana replied.

"Okay, a break. Let's do that." He said, a sliver of hope entered his heart. She might still want to be with him in the end. They were not over yet.

"Thank you." Adriana said, smiling at him.

"I love you." Bucky said, "Just.. remember that okay during our break." Bucky continued.

"I know Bucky." She said but she didn't say it back, making Bucky confused a little. But he tried to brush it off. She did need some time to think things through.