Lessons (Andy Barber)

Chapter 3

Laurie was already in bed when Jacob and Andy got home, the latter saying goodnight to his son as he loitered in his bedroom doorway. "Don't stay on there too late." He gestured to the XBOX that Jake practically lived on other than his laptop or his phone. 

Andy didn't like him being on too many devices but the laptop was essential for his schoolwork and his phone was obviously a lifeline. Jacob knew the score though and only once had he had to be lectured about being online too late on a school night. The weekends he was free to stay up as later, but even then midnight was the cut off in Andy's book. 

"'kay, night dad." Jake said, closing the door as Andy walked down to his and Laurie's bedroom and opened the door. 

She was reading but looked up as he walked in. "How did it go?" 

Andy shrugged off his jacket and hung it up, "If you'd have been there then you could've asked him." 

"Don't..." She started. 

"Laurie..." He paused, then turning around to her. "It was his first day, you could've at least asked him or sent a message to see how it went." 

She put her book down in her lap. "He would've only sent back some snarky reply like he's been doing lately. Geez I asked if he wanted his yoghurts from the store the other day and he just came back with 'K'. I'm trying my best - we said we'd even work on straightening things out between us for him, but you're hardly here..." 

"Don't turn this around on me." Andy snapped. Glancing to the door and hoping that Jake couldn't hear yet another disagreement behind closed doors. Lowering his voice he looked back at her. "Don't. We're here for him remember?" He wanted to add 'at least one of us is', but knew it would cause a major argument. 

Some things were best left unsaid. 

"I've done my best to keep everything as normal as possible for him, but he knows you're being distant." He carried on

"Well if he didn't fight with me as much as he's been doing then I wouldn't!" 

"He's been on a fucking murder trial!" Andy snapped, still keeping his voice low. "It's gonna have affected him!" 

Laurie snapped the book shut, "We offered him therapy, he turned it down, we said he could choose the school he wanted to go to, but he didn't care. We're trying to keep everything going and he's not once given us a thank you!" 

"He doesn't need to!" Andy snapped and then knew that this needed to just finish here and now. "Whatever, forget it." 

"You can't just expect me to 'forget it' Andy! He should be grateful that we've given him what we have, that we had Joanna to get him off that murder charge!" 

And that they were still together for him. They didn't have to be, but in the hopes of saving a failing marriage they'd agreed to try for their son.

Andy steadied himself against the wall with one hand and ran the other through his hair. He was too tired for this shit. "He is grateful, but you being off with him isn't helping. That's why he's the way he is with you." 

"Oh that's right, blame this on me." Laurie argued. 

Pushing himself off the wall, Andy walked into the en suite and readied himself for bed, feeling a migraine lurking. 

Great. That was the last thing he needed to end his day with. 

Once he was finished he got in beside Laurie and turned off the light. "I wasn't finished reading." She told him irritably.

"Yeah well you are now - got that interview tomorrow remember?" He replied, head beginning to pound. 

She exhaled loudly and dramatically rolled over, not bothering to say goodnight. They never did that anymore. 

Andy closed his eyes, hoping that she'd be in a far better mood tomorrow morning, but it was rare - especially when both she and Jacob were having a power struggle over the breakfast table. 

He'd noted that she never went for her usual morning run anymore liked she used to - getting lost in one of her educational podcasts that she would always recommend to him, but he'd never get around to listening to. 

That had been back when things had been perfect. 

The before...

Now there was only the after, and both he and his wife were like ships passing in the night.

Andy had tried to imagine whether Laurie would have been different had the incident in Mexico not happened. They'd have still ended up here, but perhaps happier, no arguments, the cracks in their marriage beginning to heal. Maybe Jake would have been more willing to have some therapy and settle at his school. 

He had accepted that nothing was ever perfect, no matter how much he wanted it to be. Some things were out of his control. 

In the end and after countless amounts of tossing and turning, he got up. "Where are you going?" Laurie asked through the darkness, also still awake. 

"To sleep on the couch." He muttered, knowing that unfortunately he'd get a more peaceful nights sleep downstairs. 

Taking his pillows, he retrieved a blanket from the closet and made for the living room - checking too see whether there was any life to be heard in Jacob's room. From under the door his light was off and no sounds of him talking to people on his console could be heard, so if anything he was most likely asleep. 

At least he'd listened to him. Andy had been all but ready to stick his head around the door and give him the signal to wrap it up. 

Making himself comfortable, he found himself drifting off a little easier now that the air in the bedroom was no longer suffocating him. Perhaps his migraine would let up as well but that was wishful thinking. Some nights all it took was a look between him and Laurie and he'd be down here again.  

Was it even worth it? Going through all of this for Jake. 

Yes. 

It was. 

It would always be worth it if it was for Jacob.