Deviant

twenty six

~Something new~

Your pov

I was awake for some time now.
But I didn't dare to open my eyes. Why? Because I found myself in his arms.

He was hugging me tightly, his hands around my waist as I was all over him. How in the world did I land in this awkward position, I had no idea.
But his embrace felt different. And I knew that it was my bad boy, who without any hesitation had hurt me in a way I would have never expected. Not coming from him. Why couldn't I hate him though? Why instead he was so dear to me?
I must have become really foolish.

Making up my mind, I opened my eyes slowly and searched his face which was somewhere buried in the crook of my neck. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know if I should tell him what happened a few hours ago between me and the other him.
No. I couldn't. I was too ashamed of myself for allowing things to go this further. I was afraid that by telling him, he would come to hate me. Only the thought of that possibility made my chest tighten.

He was sweet as he held me that way in his arms. It made me feel like needed and I wanted to stay like that a little more, but still, I pulled myself slowly away from his arms as I avoided eye contact. Then sitting up I crossed my legs under me as I started to play with my fingers.

After what happened last time, I couldn't look at him. I didn't hate him or held a grudge or anything. Maybe he was desperate and scared. Maybe that's why he reacted in that way. So I will listen to him if he wanted to talk and explain himself. I couldn't stop feeling hurt though.

"I am so sorry for coming like this uninvited. I hope I didn't hurt you in some way. At least not more than I already did it last time." His voice trailed off. Glancing his way I bit my bottom lip seeing his pained expression as he sat up as well, dragging his knees against his chest before wrapping his arms around them. Why would he apologize for that? It wasn't him who came to my house uninvited. And I wanted him here. It was better knowing him here than wandering the streets all alone in cold. I would have been worried sick.

My eyes shifted from his face down to the white shirt and sweatpants he was wearing. He must have been freezing. Outside was cold, around 10°C at night. It was November after all.

Climbing down from the bed, I quickly took the bag from the nightstand and placed it in Jungkook's arms. Early in the morning before he would wake up, I went to buy some clothes for him. Two pairs of Jeans, a blue T-shirt, a black sweater, some socks, and underwear. It was a real pain buying those. It was embarrassing like hell.
That old hag made things even worst. It was like, in her whole fuckin life she didn't see a woman buying men's underwear.

I hope I took the right number though.

As I was thinking that, I wasn't aware of the fact that my gaze landed down his private part and that deep in thought I was staring more than I should have.

"I... I can't accept this." I heard him saying almost whispering, breaking the silence. When my eyes traveled up and stopped on his face, his cheeks and his ears had turned pink for some unknown reason.

"Why?" I blinked confusedly. "This isn't what you needed? Or you don't like it? Do you want me to go and change them with something else? "

Jungkook shook his head quickly as he pushed the bag far away from him.
"I... I do not have any money to give you."

And my heart started to cry.

"No... You don't have to... "

"I can't. I have nothing to offer you in exchange. I... really do not have anything. Even the clothes I wear aren't mine. Doctor Mingyu was the one who always bought me clothes. I can't understand why though. I am nothing to him." Jungkook said in a low voice as he scratched the back of his head before running his fingers quickly through it, suddenly he looked so tired.