Deviant

forty eight

~Epilogue~

Four years later

"And what are you planning on doing Y/N? Actually, take care of him all your life? "Mingyu asked me and I nodded without a word.

"You will actually sacrifice yourself for..."

I lifted my hand stopping him from saying more.

"Who said that I am sacrificing myself? I am not. Actually, I am happy that he entrusted himself to me. That much trust he had in me. It's everything I ever wanted and asked for."

"Y/N..." Mingyu placed his hands on my shoulders, worriedly looking at me. "I too care about that boy. I want what is good for him but you have your whole life in front of you. You can't work day and night to take care of him. He does not even know that you are there with him. "

"You don't understand, do you? " I smiled feeling warmth raising inside my chest. "I will gladly work day and night just to see him safe."

"At least call your parents. They are your parents after all. They will understand and help you."

"No. They were clear enough the last time we saw each other. And I don't blame them or anything. They are parents after all and they want what's best for their child. But I can't risk anything. Not when it comes to his life and safety. I promised him I'll always be there next to him. To protect him. And they would take him away from me, lock him somewhere and god knows what else. And I will not let that happen. Not anymore. I will make sure that he will not feel lonely anymore."

"Damn it you, foolish girl. He isn't aware of your existence anymore. You will actually take care of him all your life like you take care of a child?"

"No. I will take care of him because he is the one I love. And because he needs me. I am all he ever had."

"It must hurt so much. You can't fool me Y/N. Seeing the one you love so powerless in front of your eyes. Not speaking one word to you. Not giving you one warm caress. "

"I am fine."

I replayed in my mind Mingyu's words as I was unlocking the door of my new apartment. Finally, after working so hard, I could buy this apartment a week ago, of course with a loan from the bank. I will have to work hard from now on as well, but it would be worth every sweat.

Closing the door behind me my smile widened seeing Jungkook sitting in an armchair just as I left him three hours ago. I ran quickly toward him and threw myself into his arms.

"Do you know who I finally saw? Your uncle. He promised that he will help us with everything he can. He is on our side, my love. He is so kind." I kissed his cheek and then searched his dark eyes with a warm smile.

"Do you know how much I missed you? I am sure you do." I caressed his cheek with my fingers, my heart racing as I took and held his hand tightly in mine. Then placing it on my cheek,  I whispered, "You are so warm."

Looking at my watch I had 30 minutes left to inject the serum into his blood.
Then I looked again into his eyes. "Do you know how much I miss you looking at me? Would you ever look at me again like you used to?" I asked wrapping my arms around his waist as I buried my face into his chest, listening to the beating of his heart.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I tightened my fingers around his hand. "I know that you hear me. Are you happy this way? Is it a little easier for you? Am I doing good? "
I whispered as I was staring at his hand before bringing it to my lips and kissing his palm, then his fingers one by one.

Looking back at my watch. Two more minutes left. So fast. Why do I never feel the time passing by when I am with you? It's like everything stops and there's only you.

Leaning against the table which was placed close to the armchair, I grabbed the serum, the needle, and the syringe. Then I prepared his medication quickly.
After I was done, I kissed the side of his neck and stayed there with my face buried in it for a few more seconds. My heart was pounding.

One word. One look. Should I wait? Just once. Hold me just one time in your arms. Just to give me power.

But his last words didn't allow me to do so.

Don't wake me up. Please.

I kissed his neck again before pushing the serum into his vein.

"I love you," I whispered against his cheek between soft kisses. "My love, please dream something wonderful. Please be happy. This will be enough for me."

At your words, a tear rolled down his cheek before his mind went back into the darkness. You weren't aware of that. You didn't see his tear. This time you waited too much and he actually heard your words.

Thank you.

I love you.