Moments that define us

Chapter Seventeen

Emily

Working at Doctor Master's office was becoming somethin' I looked forward to. Everyday there was a kid that would make me laugh. Some talked my ear off, others were timid at first, but came around when I made a funny face. It also made me realize how I longed for a family of my own. Jameson and I had only been seeing each other for a month, so it was too soon. To be honest, I felt we were moving too fast at times, and not fast enough other times. I also didn't know his take on havin' a family. He almost had that once, and it had tortured him. Would he even want that?

Jameson said he wanted us to not focus on the heavy things, and have fun. I was excited about that because it was Thursday, and also the day we planned on going to the lake with Mac and Amy.

I was excited to see my best friend. I felt like I hadn't seen her in forever. She had been out of town and didn't come to church on Sunday. I made a mental note to have a girls day. I wanted to know what was going on with her and Mac.

I left the doctor's office and headed home.  It was in the high 90's today, and the sun was out. I couldn't wait to soak up some sun. I pulled in the drive, and remembered momma and daddy were going out today. I went to my room to get ready. I had an hour before Jameson would be pickin' me up.

I put on a pale blue one piece bathing suit and piled my hair in a bun on top my head. I grabbed a pair of light blue Jean shorts, and a pink shirt that says "This girl runs on Jesus and horses", then went to eat an apple while I waited on Jameson.

I must've been lost in thought when I heard the knockin' on the door. I went to answer it, and that lazy grin slowly spread on his handsome face. Jameson's stubble had slowly formed into a small beard, and I didn't think I could ever get enough of lookin' at him.

"Hey baby." He said, then he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. Before I knew what was happening I was laughing my head off, and he was tickling my ribs. I tried tickling him back, but he seemed to not have a ticklish bone in his body.

I threw my hands in the air. "I surrender! You win!" I couldn't stop laughin'.

He pulled back, and was still smilin' at me. "I love the way you laugh Em. It lights up the entire world."

I loved that everything wasn't heavy, but it slowly started sinking in. I shook my head to clear it, and reached for his hand. "I'm sure there will be more laughin'. I can't wait to ride on a jet ski with you."

I locked the door and hand in hand we headed to to truck. He helped me in like he always does, and I couldn't help the smile that seemed to stay glued on my face.

We talked about random things on the drive to the lake. Like my favorite color being purple, and how I love to sing, even it it's slightly off key at times. He in-turn told me I should be singin' around crowds, because I had the voice of an angel. He said he loved traveling, and that he loved Colorado and Wyoming. He also let it slip that Kentucky was probably his favorite state, and that a certain brown hair, green eyed girl may be the biggest reason, or it could just be the hills. I laughed at that. It was easy, and I loved talkin' to him about small things. Those small things seemed the most important to me.

When we finally pulled up the the lake, Mac and Amy were already there. She was lookin' at him with stars in her eyes, and he had an equally dazed look. Yet there was somethin' else there too. It looked like hurt maybe. I would have to ask Jameson more about Mac's past later. I didn't want to ruin our perfectly good day.

We spent the next couple hours racing Mac and Amy. Laughing at Mac fallin' off. Kissin' every time we would switch drivers.  It was a great day. I loved listenin' to Jameson laugh. It was hearty and rich, with a rasp to it. Everything about this man called to every part of me.

When we got ready to leave we made plans to go out to eat over the weekend. Amy and me made plans to get our nails done Friday after work, and I couldn't wait for some alone time with my best friend.

On the drive home Jameson was holdin' my hand and was talkin' about how he had a great day. I didn't want to ruin it by any means, but I blurted out "Mac won't hurt Amy will he?"

Jameson looked at me for a second then focused back on the road. He took a breath and kissed my wrist in that reassuring way he always does. "I think Mac is crazy about Amy. I haven't seen him that happy in so many years. He has a lot of ghosts in his past. He pretends to be the life of the party a lot of the time. Don't get me wrong he loves havin' fun, but he has a lot of demons he can't shake. I don't think he would ever intentionally hurt Amy though."

I didn't say anything at first. I needed a minute to think on it. I finally squeezed his hand and smiled at him. "Okay honey. I will let it go. I just haven't really seen her give anyone the time of day. I would hate to see her get hurt, the first time she decides to open up to someone."

"That's what makes you so utterly special baby. You want everyone to be happy, and will do anything in your power to do so."

How was he so sweet? Didn't he see he was the same way? I doubted he knew there was goodness in him. I doubted he knew God was gonna use him to bless someone, like he had already blessed me. Jameson was a protector through in through.

We pulled into my driveway and we just sat in the cab of his truck for a few minutes. I finally looked over at him and grazed my fingers through his small beard. "You know you're special too right?" He didn't say anything back to that. "You would give anyone the shirt off your back, even if you didn't like them. If they needed it, you wouldn't think twice. You wouldn't let anyone hurt those who you love. If there is a way to fix anything, then you're gonna try the hardest you can to fix it. You have such a good heart Jameson Cole Bradshaw. I just thought you should know that."

"The only good I see in me, is you." Was all he said on the subject. "Now didn't we say nothin' heavy today? So let me kiss your sweet strawberry lips, we both still have work tomorrow and it's gettin' late baby."

He pulled me into him, and kissed my lips with such tenderness. I could feel everything in that kiss that he didn't speak aloud. He wanted to be good. For me, for his maw. Maybe even for Mandy who he felt he failed. He just didn't think he was good. I made a vow that night to show him everyday the goodness that was inside him. I also wanted him to know he was worthy of forgiveness.