Moments that define us

Chapter Twelve

Jameson

"If my loves a beacon, then yours is the ocean surrounding me with its current. Showing me the magnitude of its depths."

That played over and over in my mind like a song set on repeat. The beauty of this girl completely gutted me. She had no idea how much she was piecing me back together. I hated that I had to be pieced together at all. She didn't deserve that. If anything Emily deserved the very best life had to offer. I was far from perfect, but the look on her face, the tears in her eyes, they told me all I needed to know. I would work myself mad to become the man she deserved.

Today had been a rollercoaster of emotions. Good and bad, happy and sad. I was ready for some fun. I opened my truck door and helped Emily into the bed. Told her to give me a second while I set something up. I rolled down my truck windows. Turned the volume up on the radio, and set the song to Cody Johnson's 'On my way to you' on Spotify. Then I went back to the bed.

Emily was givin' me a funny look. I just winked at her, which caused her cheeks to turn the prettiest shade of pink. "Can I have this dance?" I asked her, while holding out my hand.

She took my hand, and I pulled her into me. Slowly I wrapped her arms around my neck, then my hands leisurely took the path from her hands, down her arms, all the way to her waist. I gently pulled her closer to me. I breathed in her peach shampoo, soaking up this moment, and closed my eyes.

We danced to that same song over and over again. There was something so serene about dancing with Emily. She calmed me. Yet provoked a side of me that wanted nothin' more than to protect her.

In just one month I had fallen in love with this girl. Scared the heck outta me. Also made me ashamed. Not to love her, but that I still had a love for Mandy in my heart too. I didn't know if I would ever stop loving Mandy. I also didn't know I could love two people. Two women who were completely different in ever aspect. Where Emily was soft, Mandy was rugged. Emily gave off this feeling of peace, Mandy never really knew the meaning of the word peace. If Emily was the light, Mandy was the dark. I knew I didn't wanna be with her anymore. And honestly after the month with Emily, I didn't know if I could ever go back to that.

We finally stopped dancing'. Emily needed to get back to her car. She had work in the mornin' and hadn't got much sleep. I felt awful knowing I was the reason.

We were silent on the way back to the hotel. I kept my hand on her knee, and she seemed to be lost in thought. I pulled in the parking lot and parked beside her car. She finally looked over and me, and gave a timid smile.

"Thank you for today. You don't know how much it means that you trusted your past, and your heart to me." She quietly said into the cab of my truck. She wasn't really meeting my eyes. I didn't know if I should be worried.

I gently grabbed her chin, and brought her gaze over to me. "I should've told you sooner. I'm sorry that I didn't. I have issues that I still need to work out. And a man would have to be a fool not to trust you with his heart Em."

Her chin was trembling, so I pulled her into me and kissed the top of her head. I didn't know if I done something wrong or even how to fix it if I did. I wanted to finish this day better than it started.

After a few silent minutes, she finally pulled away from me. The look in her eyes broke my heart. Very quietly she whispered "Can I trust you with my heart?" That felt like a sucker punch to my chest. Although I tried not to let it show.

"I would never intentionally break your heart Em."

She seemed to think on that for a minute. Then she leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I know." She paused for a minute. "I'm just scared. I really want this to work."

I kissed her lips and held her as tightly as I could. "I'm scared too baby. But I'm also excited to see where this goes."

I really didn't know what to think. Emily hadn't really shown me before that she was scared, until now. I guess when your heart is on the line, being scared comes with the territory.

"I really enjoyed today Jameson. Maybe next Sunday you could come to church with me. Meet all the kiddos I get to teach in Sunday school."

I took a deep breath, then let it out. I hadn't stepped foot in a church building since I was a kid. But for this girl. I would do anything. "I think that would be great Em."

I squeezed her hand to reassure the both of us. She kissed me again, then told me she would call me later. I watched her get into her car, and drive down the road. Scared to death I was gonna mess this up.

Little did I know then, that trusting me with her heart, was only one mistake Emmalynn had made.