Moments that define us

Chapter Twenty Seven

Emily

The sunlight filters through my closed eyelids, and I blink my eyes to adjust to the overbearing light. The first thing I notice is my head is pounding. The second is the beeping. I'm in a hospital. I start to panic then look down at my belly. There's a hand splayed across my belly. I follow the hand and see Jameson asleep layin' his head on the side of my bed.

A tear falls silently down my cheek. "He's been here all night." I look around the room and notice momma on the other side of me. "We told him to go home and rest, to go take a shower. Your daddy even threatened him for hurtin' you. He didn't leave though, and he took every verbal beatin' your daddy gave him."

"Where is daddy?"

"Oh he's at the hotel gettin' him some rest. Mac and Amy were here too. They left to get some sleep as well. Want to tell me what happened?"

"I'm not sure it's my story to tell momma." I whisper.

She gives me a stern look. You know the one? She means business. "Emmalynn Rose, if it put you in the hospital, then as your momma and that little girls granny, I think I have a right to know."

I know she's right. I just don't know what to tell her. Thankfully before I open my mouth Jameson's eyes flutter and he looks at me. "Baby you're awake." His voice sounds strained. Like maybe he's been awake all night.

I'm not sure what to say to him. What do you say to the man you love, who made you a promise, then fell of the side of the earth like you meant nothin'.

My eyes wander to that emerald ring still on my finger. I think about our summer filled with drive in theaters, horses, the lake, the watering hole, dancin' under the stars, church, learnin' to trust, and fallin' in love.

My eyes burn with unshed tears, but I close my eyes for a second and will them to go away. When I look back into his eyes I see that his pain mirrors my own. "Was it even real?" I whisper. "Was it one sided, or did you just decide promises aren't worth keeping'?"

He rears back like he's been slapped, and maybe that's what I should've done. He looks over at momma. "I think I will give y'all a minute alone." She leans down and kisses my forehead. "I will be right outside honey." Then she leaves without another word, and I'm alone with the only man to ever have and break my heart.

He looks down at his hands, then back at me with unshed tears in his eyes. "I have never felt anything more real than the love I feel for you Em." That deep southern rasp must have an effect on our daughter too, because it wakes our girl up, cause she starts kickin' up a storm. He looks at my belly where his hand is still resting. "Was that her?"

"Yeah." I breathe. "She must know her daddy is talkin'." Do you see those tears fall down his handsome face? I'm not sure I have ever seen this man look so pained. "What do you want from me Jameson? Why aren't you with your family?"

"Don't you get it Emmalynn? I stayed away because when I moved back Mandy showed up with this little boy who looked just like me." He takes a deep breath. "I stayed away because I know what it's like to grow up without my parents. I didn't want him to have only one parent, or to have to split his time between me and his momma. I thought he deserved more than that." His voice shakes at the end, and I'm left wonderin' why I fell in love with a man who doesn't even know how to choose for himself.

"You're right Jameson. That little boy deserves you both. So go back to you family." I bite my bottom lip to stop it from trembling. But he still notices.

He reaches over and cups my cheek. "I love that little boy Em. He's amazin'. But that doesn't mean that I don't love the two of you as well."

I nod my head a few times. Then I grab his hand on my cheek, and push it away. "I won't keep your daughter from you Jameson, but I think I deserve someone who keeps the promises they make me." I look at my belly then back at him. "At the very least, a man who will pick up the phone and tell me what's goin' on in their life. So please Jameson. Just go back to them. Show them how much you love them."

I turn away from him, because I can't see the pain in his eyes that I know is there. He leans down and kisses my cheek. "I don't love her anymore Emily. I feel sorry for her, yeah. But the only woman I love is you. So hold onto this promise. I love you, and I am gonna make this right."

With that he turns and walks out of the door. I let the tears fall freely down my face. Have you ever had to let the man you love go? I don't want to seem selfish. I know that little boy deserves both parents. But where does that leave me and our daughter?