Moments that define us

Chapter Nineteen

Emily

I was tellin' myself to calm down. Everything would be alright. But would it? I was excited about our date, but could tell there was somethin' Jameson wasn't saying. I tried letting it go. I wanted to enjoy the night. Things between us were amazing. I loved getting to know Jameson more. I loved how every time his maw called and he was with me, he would answer and ramble on and on with her in front of me. I loved the look on his face when he told her about me. I knew how much he loved her. He had seemed lighter the past month, but was he really? Or were we putting blinders on with the truth lurking deep inside of us, waiting to be set free. Was it all a lie? Was he fixin' to break my heart?

I felt my eyes burnin' with unshed tears, but I quickly wiped at my eyes, not wanting to mess up my makeup. Jameson's grip on my knee tightened, and I knew he saw. I turned my gaze out the window, and realized he was drivin' to the creek on my parents land.

I looked at him quizzically, but he just gave a small smile. "You'll see baby." He whispered, before placing his arm around my shoulder and pullin' me into him even more.

When he parked the truck, he told me to wait on him to come back and get me. I sat there and watched him get a blanket and spread it out along the bank. Then he grabbed what looked like a picnic basket and set it down.

He finally walked over and opened the truck door, and helped me get out. "I hope your hungry Em."

We walked over to the blanket and sat down. He grabbed two plates out of the basket, then started placing assorted fruits on it, along with what looked like sub sandwiches loaded down. This man knew I loved subs.

We began eating and making small talk about my job, and the kids at church, along with me helping with the upcoming bible school.

Once we were through with our food, he reached into the basket again. "I hope you don't mind, but I had your momma help me with this one." He pulled out a container. When he opened it I couldn't help but smile. Momma had made a peach cobbler for him to surprise me with. They were my favorite.

He grabbed a spoon, and told me to open my mouth. I couldn't help but laugh. He fed me, and ate some himself. When it was gone, I was in pure bliss. Jameson had put so much thought into this. If I didn't know better, I may have thought this would be a perfect date to propose. Although I knew better.

Jameson cleaned up the leftovers, and went to his truck. When he came back over 'When she calls me cowboy' by Triston Marez was playin'. My smile was big. Especially since I called him cowboy earlier. He normally had on his blue ball cap, but tonight he was wearing a black Stetson, that looked like it had gotten quite a bit of use out of it. That hat along with a white button up shirt, his faded wranglers, and that belt buckle made him look like the cowboy I'm sure he loved bein' when he was younger.

He walked over to me with a determination in his gray eyes. "May I have this dance Emmalynn Rose Conley?"

I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks, and was thankful for the fading sun. I just nodded my head, then put my arms around his neck. He placed his hands on my waist, then we slowly started swaying back forth. I was lookin' into his eyes, eyes that held so much they wanted to say, when he didn't know how. I leaned up and pushed my lips against his. He made a hummin' noise that made a smile instantly blossom on my lips. I pulled away and placed my head against his chest.

We swayed back and forth to two more songs, just lost in the moment of being together. I cherished every moment spent with this man.

When we finally pulled away, he kissed my wrist and told me he would be right back. I went to sit back on the blanket, and watched as the sunset danced across the flowin' water of the creek. It was such a serene feelin'. One I could live in forever.

Jameson came over and sat back down. He gently brushed my hair off my shoulder, than leaned in and kissed my shoulder. His kiss lingered there even after his lips weren't touching my skin.

"So I bought you somethin'." He had this nervousness to him, and those ring thoughts from earlier popped back into my head. I quickly cleared my head of those irrational thoughts.

I opened the small box, and gasped when I saw it was a ring. It was beautiful and had one single small stone, that was of course emerald. I looked over and him with questioning eyes.

His body shook with silent laughter, and I felt the frown appear on my face. "It's not me askin' you to marry me Em. For starters if it was, your daddy would kill me that I didn't ask his permission first." I laughed a little at that. My daddy wanted whoever I decided to marry to ask for his blessin' first. "I got a call this mornin' tellin' me I'm needed back in Alabama. There was a string of strong storms, and they are needing all the help they can get."

I felt my heart breaking at his words. Was he leaving for good? Was this his way of sayin' goodbye? Jameson reached over and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. "Are you coming back?" My voice was small, and it didn't sound like me. I felt like I was lookin' down on this moment happening like a movie, and wondering what was gonna happen next.

He pulled me into his arms and held me silently for the longest time. I surrendered to it, unsure if I would get the chance again.

"One way or another I'm coming back to you baby." He whispered into the night. "This ring is a promise of my love for you, but also a promise that I will be back. I don't know how long they will need me. What I do know is I'm not givin' you up. I love you so much Emmalynn Rose. I'm so thankful that God lead me to you in that storm. I didn't know what livin' was until I met you baby."

The tears were flooding my eyes, but all I could think about was mistakes, and how I didn't want to let him go. The next thing out of my mouth would in-turn change who I was forever. So softly I whispered "If you're leavin' I want you fully before you go."

I never knew givin' myself to him that night would cause me to both hate myself and him, be angry at God, and turn to him even more. I never felt more a prodigal than I did that night. I also never knew the love it would bring me to have for Jameson.