Moments that define us

Epilogue

Jameson
Three years later

You know that sayin' 'you don't know the meanin' of a moment until it's a memory'? Well I believe I can vouch for that. You see I don't think I ever realized how raw and beautiful it is to be loved by a woman like Emmalynn Rose. She was everything pure, and as sweet as my maw's apple pie. What I didn't realize until I almost lost her and our baby girl, was how beautiful every moment I had with her truly was.

Truth be told when Beckham and me moved to Kentucky I smothered that angel of mine. If she got mad about it though, she kept that part to herself. I was on a mission to make up for lost time.

Emily and me were married in late March, at our little church. She wore a beautiful long white lace trimmed dress. Her hair cascaded in curls down her back. At almost eight months pregnant, she was still the most beautiful bride I had ever laid my eyes on. I wore wranglers, and a white button-up shirt. Specifically requested by the bride herself.

Mac was my best man, and Amy her maid of honor. Of course Beckham was the ring barrier. We exchanged our own vows, then she became my wife. We had a reception at the farm, and had a potluck. It was the best day I could've asked for.

I started workin' at a local lineman company, and spent my weekends teachin' kids the ends and outs of rodeo. Beckham was now five and learnin' about mutton bustin'. The kid was a professional, and I knew if he stuck with it he would go far.

"Daddy!" Squealed my little girl who had her momma's long light brown hair, and my gray eyes. She was everything beautiful in this world. Along with her momma, and brother.

Stormy Rose Bradshaw of course would make a dramatic entrance into this world. Except instead of just a storm. Their were tornado warnings all around. I was a nervous wreck, but her momma. She was the picture of pure peace.

At 2:29 p.m. on May 9th, she made her entrance into this world, weighing seven pounds and three ounces. She looked so small in my arms, and I may have let a tear or two slip out. Just the thought that I may have missed out on all of this, still to this day weighs heavy on my chest. I'm just thankful God saw fit for me to be here.

We now had complete full custody of Beckham. Unfortunately Mandy never got better. She ended up losing her fight, and overdosing. That cut deep too. I felt like I should've done more. Emily was always there to remind me that I tried time and time again to get her on the straight and narrow, and sometimes people don't want that.

Beckham knows about Mandy, and even has pictures of her. He knows she is his birth mom.  But ever since I placed my ring on Emily's finger, he has referred to her as his momma. That angel of mine. Man she's the best momma to our beautiful kids.

I turn around and see Stormy runnin' towards me in her pink sun dress with her cowgirl hat in hand. Yeah, that little girl of mine is goin' to give these cowboys a run for their money. She's as rough and tough as the best of them. Then again, I guess with a name like Stormy, she was destined to be.

I smile when I spot a very pregnant Emily chasin' our rambunctious little girl. "Stormy Rose, don't you dare get that dress dirty. It's almost time for church.

I walk over and pick up Stormy, and tickle her tummy. "What are you doin' my little Clydesdale?"

Her big gray eyes look up into my own, and she smiles real big. "I got cowgirl things to do daddy. Put me down."

I laugh at her antics. "Momma said it's almost time for church. You know what happens if you get that dress dirty?"

She shakes her head back and forth. "Momma will be mad!" She exclaims, lookin' slightly terrified of her pregnant momma gettin' mad.

Emily walks over to us, wearin' a dress similar to our daughter's. "Don't let her down. I don't have the energy to keep on chasin' after her."

I lean over and kiss Emily on her forehead. "Me and this wiggly worm already had a talk about gettin' dirty." I pin Stormy with my narrowed eyes. "She is goin' to get her brother out of the barn so we can leave, and not get dirty." I look directly into Stormy's eyes.

I put her down to go round up Beckham, and pull my beautiful wife into me. "How's our boy doin'?"

She runs her fingers over her swollen stomach, and lays her head against my chest. "He's hurtin' me today. I think he may be here sooner than next month."

I cup her cheek and pull her in for a quick kiss. "I will be here every step of the way darlin'." I tell her, truthfully.

She pecks my lips once more. "I know honey."

I kiss her forehead. Then we hear two little wildcats headed our way. "Stormy get back here with my saddle!" Truckin' along as fast as she can is Stormy tryin' to get her brothers saddle. "Daddy got you a purple one."

Stormy livin' up to her name, sticks her tongue out at her brother. "Yeah well yours is bigger, and I want to do what you get to. I don't get to ride by myself." Then she takes off again as fast as her little legs will take her.

I squeeze Emily's hand. "Why don't you go sit on the rockin' chair while I rope these two wild kids and put them in the truck." Emily smiles at me, then heads towards the front porch.

After I place Stormy in her car seat, and tell Beckham to buckle up. I make my way over to Emily. She smiles at me and grabs my hand. I pick her up like I always do, and place her in the passenger seat of my truck.

On the way to church 'By your grace' by Cody Johnson plays on Spotify, and our kids sing every last word. I look over at my beautiful wife who has a content smile on her face. I am without a doubt a blessed man.

Emily looks over at me and smiles. "I love you Jameson Cole Bradshaw."

I grab her hand and kiss her knuckles. "I love you Emmalynn Rose Bradshaw."

Sometimes we don't know the power of one single moment. If I would have known then what I do now, would I have changed anything? Turned around and said it's not worth it. Would I have fought harder? You see, I can't go back and change anything about our past. I can only love her and our beautiful kids today, and try as hard as I can to make up for every wrong I ever did.

Emily tells me I have nothin' to make up for. I know she believes that. But as long as I live I will do everything in my power to be the man she deserves. Cause you see, that girl may even make her own mistakes that she struggles with from time to time. But that girl with the light brown hair and beautiful emerald eyes. She is every bit of an angel in this world of mine. She brightens the dark places. She forgives. She has enough grace to share with everyone. So the moments I'm struggling with who I am, and how I'm not good enough. She tenderly whispers into my ear "Those struggles aren't the moments that define us. It's the courage and strength we have that we use to be better, and get through them, that define those moments."