I'll Always Love A Bad Boy (Sequel To I Fell In love With The Bad Boy)

Chapter 30 - If only he'd known

- Jasmine -
I stand in front of my full body mirror. I'm not admiring myself, but simply gazing at my ghost like reflection. My hair is straightened, it looks strange this way. I wear minimal makeup mostly just mascara and slight eyeliner.

The dorm around me now just a jumble of bags, I had slept my last night in this room. Zoe had left me to have some privacy, I don't really know why nor do I care. Quiet is nice, peaceful. The way I hope Corey is now. Today is the day I leave college and start a new life, except I don't know what to do with my new life.

My plan is to become a musician, I don't want to be famous, just known. I hear the bell ring in the distance, the ceremony is about to begin.

I take my seat next to Toby, he has no idea what is about to happen. I feel bad about not telling him my plans for today, but I know it's not something that would make him mad. Headmaster Norrington makes his open speech and the diploma awarding begins. It takes me a moment to realise that it is going alphabetically by surname, there still are a few students before Corey's name would be called.

My heart rate was picking up, I had no idea how Norrington would call me up. Would he say Corey's name? Or leave it until last. My hands are shaking in my lap and I'm trying desperately to stop them, I don't want anyone to see. There will be questions if they do, I don't like questions.

"Corey Anderson." Norrington's voice booms over the sound system. I take a deep breath and rise from my seat, much to the shock of those around me.

I feel like eyes are peeling the skin away on my back as I walk up to the steps. I am careful not to stumble or slip on the stairs as I walk up to meet Norrington in the centre of the stage. The crowd is in a deathly silence and it makes me feel uneasy, so I bite down on my lip to distract myself.

"What does it say?" Someone calls out I ignore them, I want to read it first.

Norrington hands me my diploma and I leave the stage, sticking around only long enough to see Toby get his.

I walk to my favourite spot - the spot where Corey introduced me as his girlfriend to Indi - and sit down putting my diploma aside to read his. I pause before opening it, I know what I want it to say. In one quick movement, I unroll it reading intently. I skip all the boring acknowledgements and read down to see that he had a B average. the teacher comments are the part I'm really interested in, I skip further to the career's teacher's comment. My heart skips what feels like a dozen beats, according to this he was smart enough to be anything he wanted. From a lawyer to a police officer. He would have been a great police officer, he had that protective nature. Sure he would have to curb his temper a bit, but I know he would have loved to have been one.

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding and feel relief wash over me. I was right. I knew it, if only he'd known. I hug the paper close to my chest and stay like this for a very long time. I don't know how long I have been sitting here, but I know where I need to go.

"Are you alright Jasmine?" Toby's voice comes from somewhere behind me.

"I'm fine." I say standing to hug him. I squeeze my eyes shut and lay my head in his chest. I am not alone. I have him.

"Can I get you anything?" he asks.

"If you really want to you can drive me to the cemetery." I reply.

He takes my hands in his and pulls me close leading me toward where he parks his car.

I am quiet as we drive to the cemetery and Toby doesn't prod me for information either but I know he's curious.

He is parks not far from Corey's grave and I get out alone. I walk slowly as if I'm walking to my own death. I kneel by him headstone that reads "Beloved Son and boyfriend" under his name. I run my hand over the writing on the cold marble stone.

I hold the diploma he was never going to see tightly, before opening it ones again to read it to him.

"Hey Corey," I say to the empty cemetery around me, "You graduated. You could have been anything you wanted even a police officer. You were smart but you never chose to believe it. I just wish you were here now to see how great you were, they can jail Wes forever but that will never bring you back. He stole something that was irreplaceable, he stole you from me." I choke out the last part as I cry wishing that he was here to comfort me, to tell me everything was going to be alright. But he wasn't.

I place the diploma down in the flower holder by his headstone, I feel that it belongs here, with him.

"I promise no matter where I go, that I'll always think of you and come back to visit you." I say not bothering to contain the tears.

I stand looking down on him, "This is not goodbye Corey, it is merely see you soon." I say wiping my eyes.

----

Back on campus Jake and Dylan are helping with Zoe's and Kirsty's things while I somehow managed to score both Daniel and Toby's help. We all have our own cars and we're all ready to go our separate ways. When I say ready I mean barely coping with leaving each other's company. Daniel wanders off to help Indi after most of my stuff has been packed into my tiny hatchback.

Our cars are parked in a line from where we will part and depart on life's journeys. It seemed like only yesterday that Zoe and I started high school but now we were leaving college.

"Well this is it." Zoe says in a weightless tone.

"Yeah the feeling isn't quite what I expected it to be." I say in the same tone.

"Corey should be here with us." Dylan answers, he looks glum and no where near ready for what lies ahead.

"He wouldn't want us to be sad." Jake says, he seems to be the only one trying to be optimistic.

I stare at the empty road that lies ahead, it could hold anything for me. I feel the sudden urge to just go for it, go see what the world had in store for me.
"Let's do this." I say my voice strong now. "But you guys have to call me as soon as you get wherever your going." I get behind the wheel of my car, starting the engine and shifting the gear into first. I drive from the campus lot, I am the first of us all. There is a freedom to knowing that this is my life now, and I'm driving head first into life. Nothing can stop me now.