Mated To The Devil

Chapter 17: The Aftermath

Natasha's POV

It's been three days.

For three days I've been locked inside my room. I don't want to go out because I don't think I can face Valerian after he did.

Also, three days that I haven't eaten anything. 

After what happened-- after Valerian let go of me, I managed to move and I quickly ran up to my room. 

I didn't shut down or anything, it's just that I don't know what I'm feeling after that. I can't process shit for days. And all thanks to Valerian Fenrir. 

I always hear him leave at day and go to his work-- I think-- and I actually have the chance to leave whenever he's not home but I know I can't and I know I shouldn't.

Again and again, I can't go home until I succeed with my plan. Also, one of the reasons is that Valerian told me that we will hunt me and I know he surely will. I don't want to put my family and friends in danger. 

I got to get out of this mess the other way. 

I buried my face in the pillow and let out a groan. 

Except for the fact that I haven't eaten anything for three days, I also haven't gotten any sleep. 

Every day and night, all I can think of is that stupid kiss of Valerian and it's seriously starting to get on my nerves. Not only that, but I'm also starting to get annoyed at myself because no matter how hard I try to divert my attention to other things, I always ended up thinking about Valerian and what he did.  

I still can't believe that happened and he really did that. 

My scream was muffled on the pillow. 

The worse thing is that even though I have no idea why he did that, I can't deny that it felt good in some way that I couldn't get it off my mind. 

I literally can't forget how it felt and fuck it, it felt really good. 

"I hate myself," I whispered. 

My mind is always on haywire the past few days courtesy of Valerian and his poisonous kiss. 

I should be mad, I keep telling myself that. I should be mad that aside from the fact that he did that without asking for consent first if he can do what he did, he also hurt me. 

The redness in my jaw after he let me go is the proof. Gosh, he's really giving me a lot of remembrances. 

First, the bite mark on my neck that is still visible until now-- the reason why I don't tie my hair anymore so that I could hide it. Second, the bruises on my neck too and jaw. I'm glad it's not visible anymore, especially in my jaw. It already disappeared. Well, except for the bite mark on my neck that I think will forever be there just like my bite mark on Valerian's hand. 

He's not only a bastard, he is a literal monster. 

But, I don't know why I can't get mad at him, especially with the kiss. 

I'm not even mad at him that he kissed me!

He did not only take me by surprise, he left me more than flustered. 

I drew a deep breath. 

I don't think I can stay a day more here inside. I feel like I'm going to get sick if I do that. 

But at the same time, I don't want to go out because I know Valerian is just outside-- I mean, he might be in his room but the chances to bump into him if I go out is up to the roof. 

I don't think I can face him right now. I'm not yet ready. Gosh, I don't think I'll ever be ready. 

I'm thankful that I could go days without food and still be fine. I can go weeks and even months without any food if I have to. But honestly, I feel like one of the reasons why I'm not bothered even a bit by not eating is that, I can feel Valerian's presence, especially at night. I don't exactly know what is it but I feel like there's a certain connection between us. I just really can't explain what is it.