Buried Feelings.

1. Alyssa

"I'm sorry Mrs Leyton, we did all we could" Dr Garret says as he walks through the double doors of the waiting room.

I heard Mum let out a loud heart breaking sob as she crashed bodies with Arista my older sister. I sat back down on the uncomfortable plastic chair and stared out the window.

My whole world had just turned upside down. I mean how can someone just drop down and die. Dr Garret had explained that Dad had a tumour on the brain which no one was aware off. How could this have happened? They were doctors for god sake shouldn't they be able to make him better.

How could he just die like that. He was gone... My hero... My everything was gone and I felt broken. I felt lost. I now felt empty and numb.

All the memories I had were playing like a movie in my head overwhelming me with all these emotions I wasn't sure I'd be able to get to the end of the thoughts. I looked around me seeing everything go in slow motion.

I then felt a hand on my shoulder and looked away from the window and up to see my Mum standing beside me. Her eyes were blood shot from crying and her nose was red from all the wiping she had been doing. I look up into her eyes hoping I would wake up from this awful dream and walk into the next room to have my Dad hug me and tell me everything was okay, but I didn't.

This was real... This was reality and I didn't like it "Alyssa... Sweetie it's time to say goodbye" My eyes widened and I looked pass Mum at Grandpa and Grandma, they were hugging Arista as she cried. I couldn't do it... I couldn't walk into that room and see him lying there on the bed not moving. I couldn't say goodbye to my Dad, this isn't how it's meant to go. I can't say goodbye to the man who made me laugh when I was sad or the man who threatened to hurt my first boyfriend if he hurt me. How is this happening to me? Why me?

I look back at Mum and shake my head "No!" I mutter looking back out the window. I can't do it and she wasn't going to make me.

"Alyssa... We have to say good bye" Mum says again

I shot up from my seat and move away from her "I said no!" I bellowed making a fist trying to calm myself down "I'm not going to say goodbye Mother. I can't okay and I won't" I walk pass her to the double doors of the waiting room. My calming technique obviously failing.

"Alyssa... darling maybe you should re think this" Mum forces through the sob I heard as she opened her mouth and I span around to look at the room again "Please Alyssa"

"No!" I screech running out of the room and down the corridor. I could hear Mum calling after me, but I don't stop as I run down the stairs and out the hospital doors.

Great it was raining... Typical... Awful weather for an awful day. I take my phone from my jacket pocket and dial Jessica, my bestfriends number. She answered on the first ring "OMG Als... You okay?"

"Can you come get me?" I ask taking a step into the rain. The rain came down fast and soaked through my clothes. I shivered in the cold and held the phone close to my ear.

"Yeah of course" I heard Jessica reply "Where are you?"

"I'm at the St Helier Hospital" I state looking back at the hospital

The line was silent for a moment and then I heard a sigh from Jessica and she knew straight away what had happened "Allie... I'm sorry"

"Maggie still having her party tonight?" I question ignoring the sadness in her tone

"Yeah she is. I was thinking to go, but if you want me..."

"We're going Jess. Now come get me. I need to change"