Buried Feelings.

26. Scottie

"You ruined everything" Jessica exclaimed marching up to me "You knew who I was didn't you?"

She was right of course I knew who she was and I went after her because I was hurt Alyssa didn't say she loved me back. I was hurt and drunk and I made a bad move. She was right I did ruin everything.

"I didn't mean for this to happen. For any of it to happen Jessica, I'm sorry" I state feeling the guilt wash over me. Knowing what I did was wrong. What we both did was wrong. I didn't want to be one of those guys, but it turns out I am one of those guys who preaches that he loves someone, but yet goes and sleeps with someone else and not only did I do that, but that someone had to be the Bestfriend. I've screwed this up pretty bad.

"She's never going to talk to me again Scottie. Do you have any idea what you've done. What we done" tears were pouring down her angry face as she yelled at me. Did I blame her no I didn't "How could I have left this happen" I heard her say, but realised she was talking to herself and not me "I'm her Bestfriend and I bailed on her to sleep with someone else. God I'm a horrible Bestfriend" Jessica then stood beside me and leaned back against my car running her shaky hand over her face.

"Do you need a ride home?" She shakes her head and looks up at me through her wet lashes. I never noticed her blue eyes before. They matched her skin tone.

"I drove here" She says nodding to her red Cherry BMW parked in Alyssa's drive "Thanks for the offer though" I nodded turning back to face Alyssa's house "I'm sorry too you know" Jessica suddenly announces after a few moments of silence. I turn to face her seeing her red tear stained face slowly ease a little "I knew who you were too and I didn't stop myself, but I blamed you for this mess when I know it's my fault too"

"It's okay Jessica... I mean we both screwed up... We both did things that night and we both regret it"

"I don't" She admits in a low whisper that I just about hear. Turning to face her I raise my eye brow.

"You don't what?" I ask very confident in knowing her answer, but wanting to make sure. You should never assume things; everyone knows that.

"I don't regret what I did that night... What we did"

"You don't?" It was a rhetorical questions, but she answers anyway

"No I don't Scottie and I'm sorry I ruined what you had with Allie and I know I'm a bad person, but it wasn't fair that she got you both and I had no one. She had the guy I've wanted for years, but didn't appreciate you at all and I couldn't stand it any longer" She ranted and my eyes widened in shock.

Yeah I knew Jessica when I knew Alyssa, but Jessica and I were never close. She hung out with Alyssa and that was it. We never bonded so this was new to me. It was all news to me and news I was gobsmacked with.

Now after so many years she declares that she what... Likes me or something.

"I don't understand Jessica... I mean yeah that night I bumped into you on purpose"

She nodded and looked down at the ground "And I acted drunk so I felt better about what I knew was going to happen" She confessed and to my surprise I wasn't mad. How could I be? In all truth Alyssa was never going to like me the way I liked her.

Now thinking about it did I actually love her or was I trying to convince myself I did because she started to take notice of me. I'm not sure, but I couldn't be mad at Jessica for what happened just like I couldn't be mad at Alyssa for liking someone else that wasn't me "Anyway I better get going before Tommy goes out and I'm locked out tonight" She gave me a small smile before leaning up of my car "And I really am sorry for last night" I nodded and she heads across the road to her parked car.