In Sunshine or In Shadow ✔ [Completed]

Chapter 9.1 - A Pale Shadow

It was becoming a sort of guessing game for Vansh that whenever he drove to Riddhima's apartment to wonder which side of her he would see that day. Sometimes she was almost like her old self, funny and stern in her way of trying to keep him in line, but often she was cold and quiet, a woman who looked like Riddhima but was not the same person he had known for so long. It seemed that more and more often he was seeing this new Riddhima. Her good days were getting further and further apart.

Sophie had said this was a sort of pattern. She would have to get worse before she got better. Vansh knew that, he'd experienced it. But he also knew the possibility that Sophie hadn't wanted to admit. Riddhima could fall, keep falling and then hit bottom and never find her way back up. He couldn't let that happen to her.

Vansh knocked on the door like he always did. There was always that brief moment of fear that the door wouldn't open, that something had happened to her. He waited those tense seconds but as they ticked by he began to get more concerned. He leaned down and picked up the key he knew he would find tucked under the mat but before he could put it in the lock he heard the locks turning. Riddhima cracked open the door, looked at him once, and then opened it all the way. "Hey," she said.

It was a bad day.

Her shorter hair had curled slightly at the ends, reminiscent of the year he had first met her. Sara had been guilty and quiet after she had seen Riddhima. She had refused to talk about it, but Vansh had seen the frightened, downcast look in her eyes. Vansh had said very little about her new haircut. The brief research he had done after his visit with Sophie had said that it was common for rape survivors to want to change their appearance. What was terrible was that he knew it wouldn't restore her confidence.

Vansh put the spare key in his pocket, for an emergency He walked into the apartment and saw her rubbing her free wrist. The cast had come off a week ago, but he knew she was still self-conscious about it. "How's the therapy going?" Her eyes widened like a lonely deer staring at a semi-truck on a highway. "Your physical therapy," he corrected and pointed to her wrist.

"Oh, it's fine," she said.

"Good," Vansh said, flashing her a bright smile, "You'll be ready to go back to work soon."

That did restore some of the life to her eyes. "Yeah, I've been so bored recently that I've taken to watching new show."

"Definitely a sign of desperation."

She managed to let out a small huff of a laugh. She wanted to find him funny, maybe even a small part of her did, but she just couldn't make herself feel that way. He could see the dark circles under her eyes, the gaunt look to her cheeks. Even her clothes were starting to get baggy. "How about some dinner?" Vansh suggested.

Riddhima shrugged one shoulder. "I started some spaghetti."

"Excellent."

"I'll make you some tea, too," she added. He would have to make sure she ate a good amount of her dinner. One day he was afraid that he would be able to count her ribs through her t-shirt.

Vansh saw that her TV was on but it was on some reality show with the sound set low. He guessed she only put it on when she heard the knock on the door to hide what she was really trying to do. One quick peak under the couch revealed Riddhima's secret.

It was Titus Andronicus again. He found the other books stuffed in a drawer in the side-table next to the sofa. The last time he'd found them he'd expressed his dismay and that had made her get defensive. She shut down because she felt he couldn't understand. She thought she had to do this all on her own, something he had learned a long time ago just couldn't be done.