In Sunshine or In Shadow ✔ [Completed]

Chapter 10.2 - Downward Spiral

Sara didn't say a word as she and Angre left the CBI and climbed into the company's SUV. If he noticed her wiping a few tears that leaked from her eyes, he didn't say anything. He was always good for that. He knew when he had to be patient with her.

She knew what everyone was going to say: Riddhima isn't herself, she doesn't really mean it, don't take it personally. She knew that they meant it too, but she also knew that it couldn't possibly be true. Riddhima had meant it and Sara did take it personally. It didn't hurt that Riddhima had lashed out at her. No, what killed her was knowing she was partly to blame.

Riddhima didn't hate the guys, just her now. That was her fault because she hadn't been strong. She should have visited her at the hospital, called to check up on her, maybe brought her flowers or baked goods. Sure, those things were all corny and would irritate Riddhima but it was the thought that counted, literally. Vansh and the others all went, they all showed they were behind her. Sara had been too ashamed of her own failings to do that. Riddhima hated her for her weaknesses.

"Sara," Angre said her name softly, "are you okay?"

She could lie, but that had always been hard to do with Angre. She shook her head. "No, not really."

"Look, Riddhima didn't—."

"Yes she did."

"What I mean is that she wouldn't…she's not her…" Angre ran out of clichés. Sara watched as he glared at the road ahead of him. "Damn that bastard. Damn him to Hell."

If only they knew who he was. If they could find him for Riddhima maybe she would reclaim some part of her old self again. Sara wanted to believe that, but Vansh seemed worried now. There were a thousand questions she burned to ask him. Every time she saw him alone she almost interrogated him for answers. What can I do to help her? Is she looking any better? What are your theories? Are you starting to lose hope too?

That last one terrified her the most.

"Do you think it will help?" Sara asked before she could stop herself. She longed to grab those words and pull them back into her mouth. But they were born and Angre was looking at her.

"What will help?"

"Finding the rapist."

Angre turned his attention back to the road. His shoulders were slumped and his brows were knitted together. He didn't say a word, just watched as yellow lines on the street disappeared beneath the wheels of the SUV.

"I don't know," he said. Then he shook his head and let out a sigh. "Honestly…no. At least, not right now. Not with her acting like this."

"But don't you think she'd feel safer?"

"I don't think that's the problem. She's forgetting who she was. She's angry and ashamed and she's not doing anything to change that."

Sara nodded with her eyes on her knees. It hurt, but at least it was an honest answer and probably true. Riddhima didn't shower two-three times a day because she was afraid, it was because she felt unclean. She was ashamed of what had happened to her.

Before the ball, none of them could ever had dreamed that something like this would happen to Riddhima. But Sara knew that even if she had imagined it, there was no way she could have predicted that Riddhima would wind up like this. She had always been the strongest of the team. She was their leader, calm and cool under any circumstances. For crying out loud, the woman had been strapped to a bomb and had managed to remain levelheaded. That was just Riddhima, but apparently even the strongest of walls have a weakness.

"Do you think it should have been me?" Sara asked.

Angre slammed the car to a sudden halt. The car behind them leaned on their horn and they could hear his muffled curses as the driver leaned out the window. Angre stared at Sara for a long moment, long enough so the other driver pulled around him. Angre didn't even see that he was flipping him off as he left them behind.