In Sunshine or In Shadow ✔ [Completed]

Chapter 9.2 - A Pale Shadow

As the minutes ticked by Riddhima began to feel more and more anxious. Nothing had happened, nothing had gone wrong; she hadn't flipped out or had a flashback. But that didn't matter, she still couldn't relax, she couldn't get comfortable. She had been carrying around this idea that when she got back to work that everything would fall back into place but she was beginning to realize that like many dreams, this one wasn't going to pan out.

Her anxiety was only getting worse. Riddhima took off her jacket because she was so warm, but she still kept sweating. Frustrated she threw the file down on her desk, toppling over a photograph and a small basket of extra pens. She looked down at the mess and then her shaking hands, she felt a rush of relief, it had felt good to do some damage. Even though this hardly counted as anything.

The idea of throwing a fit flashed through her mind. It might be nice to finally just let it all out and scream. But that wasn't how normal people acted, only crazy people did things like that. And she wasn't crazy.

Right?

She shook her head and immediately stood up from her desk. Coffee, getting coffee was the normal thing to do. Not sitting around contemplating acts of violence. The break room was empty except for one occupant. Sara sat down at the table, shaking a packet of sugar before she tore it open so she could sweeten her own mug of coffee. Her eyes were on the report in front of her, which is why she didn't notice Riddhima until she was already in the room.

For a moment their eyes locked onto each other and neither one of them seemed to be breathing anymore. A myriad of emotions passed between them but the strongest was shame. Finally Riddhima spoke, "I just came in for coffee."

"Yeah, of course," Sara said, standing up abruptly from the table. "I have to finish reading this report for Kabir…I mean you…I mean…" she faltered for words in this moment awkwardness.

"I'm still getting back on my feet," Riddhima said softly, "Kabir's still lead agent on this case for now."

Sara nodded. "Then…I should go talk to him." She grabbed the file and bolted out of the room, leaving her still steaming coffee onto the table, next to the empty packet of sugar. She hadn't even gotten the chance to stir it in Riddhima noticed bitterly; she could clear a room pretty quickly these days. She didn't know if it was because she'd been raped or because of the confrontation in her apartment a week ago but Riddhima had a feeling that she'd lost Sara's respect forever.

Just one of the many things she'd lost recently.

She poured herself a mug of coffee, not really sure why she'd decided to get some anymore. Still she sweetened the brew and poured in a little cream, but she took a sip it tasted like sawdust. Nothing seemed appetizing anymore. But since it was caffeine, which she desperately needed after her still many sleepless nights, Riddhima took the mug with her on her way back to her office.

But as she rounded the corner she heard her name, which made her pause mid-step.

Gina was the secretary for the Organized Crime Unit and she was chatting with one of the interns, Renee, from Financial Crimes. "Have you seen Riddhima yet?"

"I saw her when she first came in," Renee said, "she looks a lot better than she did during the press conference."

"But she doesn't look like herself, she keeps looking over her shoulder like she's afraid."

"Maybe she has good reason, I heard that the guy who did it could work here."

"God, can you imagine? Somebody beat and raped her and she doesn't even know who he is. He could be anybody!" Gina gave an exaggerated shudder, "Ugh it's terrifying to think that someone we work with could have done this, what if he attacks someone else? Or goes after her again?"