i really loved him

chapter 13

Regulus POV

Friday, 5th September, 12:47 – The day after the quidditch trials, Regulus was the first out of Arithmancy and headed straight to the great hall to check the team lists. He was certain that his performance at the try-out had been strong but wondered whether Emma would be reluctant to appoint him again after last year's failure.

Summer had been odd. His parents were spending an increasing amount of time in the locked drawing room, discussing 'important matters'. Everyone in the household all knew very well what these matters included, but they remained covert and secretive about them, nonetheless.

This meant that, fortunately for Regulus, he and Sirius most often spent mealtimes alone; after everything that had happened before summer, he didn't quite trust himself to be around his parents.

Before going home, he had decidedly told himself that there was no reason for them to suspect that anything was different, and that this was something he could conceal.

But at the same time, Walburga Black had a frightening way of observing the smallest differences in people. In their words or behaviour, sometimes in the slightest movement. This was how Regulus had learned how to adopt a still, stony exterior when necessary. If she thought something was wrong, she wouldn't hesitate to use Veritaserum or Legilimency to find out. And if she found out... that wasn't an option.

To Regulus' relief, Sirius had kept out of trouble for the most part, but the two of them scarcely talked to one another all the same. Occasionally, when they crossed in a hallway or dined alone, it seemed as though Sirius wanted to say something to him. He never did.

So it was common, Regulus found, to go a whole day without a word spoken to anyone. Instead, he spent most of his time either shut in his bedroom reading or in the music chamber with the piano for hours at a time.

When he reached the great hall, Emma Vanity was still posting the Slytherin try-outs list onto the door. She turned around as he approached.

"Good job, Regulus," she said, stepping to the side and gesturing to the parchment, upon which his name was written at the bottom. "You've upped your game."

"I'm not going to fail again," Regulus replied without looking at her.

He moved to the Gryffindor list, scanned it through. Unsurprisingly, Potter had been made captain. Regulus had no doubt this would further inflate his head to a point of intolerable arrogance.

"I should hope not," Emma smiled grimly. "I'm leaving this year. It'd be nice to get a win first. Besides, if you do well," she gestured to the gleaming captain's badge pinned to her robes, "I have a feeling this'll be passed on to you next year."

"Really?"

Emma raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, Black, you're the best seeker Slytherin's had in years. Just got unlucky with Potter last year, that's all."

"It wasn't luck," Regulus said bitterly. "He tricked me, and I fell for it."

"Yes, you did. But you won't again, so there's no point sulking about it, is there?"

"I'm not sulking," he replied loftily.

Other students were starting to congregate around the doors by then, so he stepped away from the lists and asked, "First practice?"

"Tomorrow," Emma told him. "Gryffindor have the pitch booked until eleven, so we'll start then, before lunch."

Regulus nodded curtly, looking forward to training with the team again more than he would admit, then walked past Emma and entered the great hall for lunch. He caught sight of Miller straight away, just sitting down at the Slytherin table.